Not Pretending Anymore by Ward Penelope & Keeland Vi

Author:Ward, Penelope & Keeland, Vi
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: C. Scott Publishing
Published: 2021-04-09T16:00:00+00:00

***

Molly and I had managed to avoid talking about anything for over a week. I knew she had to work Sunday night, so I was hoping to catch her before she left for her shift. That way if anything we said or did was awkward, she’d be away for twelve hours soon after.

When I woke up Sunday morning, Molly was sleeping. Despite my nerves, I felt mentally better than I had in a while. I’d come out of the fog, and my energy was back, so I spent the day at the gym and running errands.

When I returned to the apartment late in the afternoon, Molly wasn’t there. I wondered if she’d be coming home at all before she had to go to work. I took a shower, then not-so-patiently waited to find out.

I still didn’t know what I was going to say to her, and I certainly didn’t know where she stood. I decided I’d respond to her based on the vibe she gave me. Maybe she would give me a signal. I’d let her talk first, and if she expressed any doubt about things, game over.

I took advantage of the alone time and started writing down some of what I wanted to say on a notepad. I must have scratched out a hundred different things.

Fuck it. Let’s just try.

Scratch.

I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to fuck you, Molly. But it’s so much more than that.

Scratch.

Maybe we should take it day by day and see where it goes.

Scratch.

I’m crazy about you, Molly. So let’s just do this.

Scratch.

The door opened, and I shoved the notepad under my bed.

I strolled out into the living room as if I hadn’t just been jotting down sweet nothings like a damn high schooler.

“Hey! Long time no see.”

“Yeah. It seems like it’s been forever,” Molly said. “Were you waiting for me?”

Apparently, I wasn’t as casual as I thought. Who brought the fucking cool guy?

“Yeah. I figured we could finish the talk we were having the other day.”

She looked around, seeming nervous. “Okay. I’m just gonna take a quick shower and get into my scrubs. Then we’ll talk?”

“Sounds good. Want me to brew some coffee? I know you like to drink it on the way to work.”

“That would be great.”

For the next several minutes, I sat in the kitchen, taking in the smell of freshly brewed coffee and hoping it would calm me down. But nothing could. When Molly walked out wearing her dark purple scrubs, I was no more ready to have this conversation than I’d been before.

I bit the bullet. “You want to go first or shall I?”

“I can go first,” she said, taking a seat across from me. “So, I think everything you said the other night made a lot of sense.”

Uh-oh. The other night I’d pointed out all the reasons we were wrong for each other. Why did I do that?

“You mentioned that you didn’t think you could give me anything long term and expressed concern about interfering in my relationship with Will.

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