MotherDaughter Sex Advice by Susie Bright & Aretha Bright

Author:Susie Bright & Aretha Bright [Bright, Susie]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Bright Stuff
Published: 2012-05-03T04:00:00+00:00

“The Word That Describes Me Is SICK”

Dear Susie and Aretha,

I experienced my first orgasm last year. No physical stimulation was involved — it was purely a mental exercise.

Since then, I’ve bought sex toys and used them with great success. I’m confident when it comes to my ability to please myself. The problem is the mental stimulation it takes to get me to come is the most depraved type. I’m not kidding. I’m worried that there’s something wrong with me.

My fantasies don’t involve death or mutilation, but that’s about the only limit. I can’t come, even with intense physical stimulation, unless I think about pain, humiliation, and obedience. I saw a list of fantasies that “cross the line” on some web site, and I think I hit at least two or three.

It’s not just S&M. I find that fantasies of misogyny work just as well as ones of bondage, if not better — and I’m an unapologetic feminist. I know I shouldn’t be ashamed to be sexual, but I think the word that describes me is “sick.”

It doesn’t help that I go to a women’s college. I have about as much chance of finding a boyfriend as I do of winning the lottery. I don’t know if I’ll ever find it possible to achieve pleasure when I’m in a real relationship.

I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never come with another person. Is there a way to reconfigure your sex drive? Or am I asking for the equivalent of those deprogramming camps that certain awful parents send their gay kids to? Is there any help for a pervert like me?

— One Sick Puppy

Aretha: Puppy, chill out. You are not sick.

Susie: Any credible sex-ed web site or book would take a more nuanced view of taboo fantasies than a “Don’t Go There” list. Put down the Cosmo. You are hardly alone.

Aretha: If you told me you got off thinking about sex with animals, being raped, incested, or anything else taboo — I still would not consider you sick. Fantasies about taboo things are great, because they are FANTASIES — nothing bad is happening in real life.

Susie: I’m sure there’s been times in your life where you were made to do something you hated, or were humiliated by a bully or authority figure. No one finds it pleasant, let alone arousing. You have no control whatsoever. But when you fantasize an humiliating punishment, for example, or a depraved act — you control every aspect, every moment. You take yourself exactly to the erotic brink YOU want to go to… and then you get the catharsis, the orgasm. Lemonade is made out of your lemons. It’s human nature.

Aretha: What site did you go to that said certain fantasies “cross the line” — says WHO?

Susie: Yeah, you need to report them to the sex-ed police! The BEST research about why we fantasize the things we do, is in a book called The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin. It’s worth a good ten years of therapy —

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