More Than Words by Gen Ryan

Author:Gen Ryan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: soldier, PTSD, love, romance, drama, contemporary, new, cliffhanger, fiction, counselling, healing, ex-military, military, survivor, women's fiction, modern, novella, Series
Publisher: Hot Tree Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

“You should really consider coming to AA with me.” Arya shoved some paperwork in her bag as the students piled out of the classroom. I tried to act like things weren’t romantic between us in class, but it was hard. We’d steal glances at each other, and occasionally I’d wink just to see her blush. She purposely never picked me in class anymore, when I showed up of course. Which I didn’t mind, because it meant no sharing of my emotions that I’d rather forget. David could tell me to open up all he wanted, but my words, I held them close to my chest whenever I could.

“Still not really my thing.” Folding my arms, I leaned against her desk.

Arya rolled her eyes. “A lot of things aren’t your thing. Like writing on the spot. Or opening up about your feelings.” She frowned.

“I opened up a bit at the bar that night and when we ate cupcakes,” I said proudly. It wasn’t a lot but I did give Arya snippets of who I was and how troubled my past really was.

“That’s not enough, Parker. It’s been months since we met, and I know so little about you. You know that in order to heal you need to express what’s inside.” She gently poked at my heart. “If you don’t, it will eat away at you. You can’t just pretend that it doesn’t exist.”

I pushed off the desk and looked away. I liked to pretend. It was easier than facing reality. Rainey used to do this shit, trying to get me to open up and try new things. Comfort was what I wanted. The normalcy of eating at the same restaurants, seeing the same people and doing the same things. Some people thought that was boring; for me it was safe. There were so many things about life that were unexpected. Like death. You never knew when the damn bitch would come up beside you, tap you on the shoulder, then choose your best friend standing right beside you instead. That memory, the day that changed me, was something that would forever haunt me. No amount of therapy, or AA meetings, no woman, no matter how beautiful, kind, and loving, could make me forget holding the hand of my best friend as he died. That’s something that embedded itself deep in your skin and made itself at home. And it grew and grew and grew until there’s nothing of you left. Nothing but a scarred body and a fucked-up mind.

Fucking patrol sucked. The temperature was well over a hundred, the sun blaring down on me as I walked in full gear with no potential end in sight. All there was in front of us was abandoned buildings. We were doing a routine patrol. Nothing out of the ordinary, other than me being happier than normal. Because this was our last one. We were going home. All I could think about was Rainey. Her beautiful face and smile that made me question why I joined the military in the first place.

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