Monger Tales by Monger The

Author:Monger, The
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Monger publishing
Published: 2015-08-02T16:00:00+00:00

The United States – San Francisco and Vegas

The United States has no real appeal to me. I saw it as a country of not particularly intelligent people. My arrogance was to see me taken care of well and truly. In retrospect my next trip should have been to Germany to explore the FKK Sauna scene (which I have never been to), however I had been looking at several boards and had become obsessed with strip clubs. I regularly visited clubs in Australia and spent a shit load of money on lap dances. The various boards promised a whole lot of potential public action and very raunchy lap dances.

My first stop was San Francisco, this was a year or so after 9-11 and so the Yanks were even more paranoid and officious than they usually are, getting through customs was a nightmare with a full bag search and a customs official abusing a Thai girl because she couldn’t understand what he was barking at her. I’m not a white knight but having been bullied all my life I can’t bear bullies.

“Excuse me sir, she doesn’t understand, maybe speak a little softer and slower.”

I swear I saw him raise his hand to hit me, but thought better of it and that’s when the Thai girl and I were pushed over to the side for a full bag search. The girl was furious with me,

“You should be quiet. We’ll never get in now.”

Oh well, no good deed goes unpunished and I was really wondering whether I wanted to get into this fascist toilet. There was then a shift change or something and the bully disappeared to be replaced by a huge black woman, with a wide smile.

“Why are you all here with your bags spread out? Looks OK to me, put them back together and welcome to the United States.”

My goal in San Francisco was the famous Mitchell Brothers O’Farrell Theatre (MBOT), a strip club that was a brothel. It had been around for years and had many dedicated followers on the American boards. I got to my hotel and slept until the late afternoon. Collecting a local newspaper and a map I went to a local hamburger joint. When travelling I live on fast food, I know what it is, and I can’t be bothered eating any foreign shit or learning anything about it. I can say chicken in about twelve different languages.

The map was to find where to go and the paper was to get the discount pass. The usual entrance fee at MBOT was about $45 but with this pass you got in between 5pm and 7pm for $12. I worked out that I had to pass through an area called the Tenderloin, it didn’t sound good, but fuck it, save money on cabs. About 300 or 400 hundred meters in I was regretting my decision. Black guys who looked like crips or craps or whatever they call themselves were gathered in groups listening to loud rap music, foul smelling

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