Life! By Design by Tom Ferry

Author:Tom Ferry [Ferry, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-345-52066-1
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2010-06-20T16:00:00+00:00

ADDICTION

ADDICTION TO WORRY

The fourth addiction is addiction to worry, or what I refer to as “living with the drunk monkey.” I first heard this description on an audio program by famed parapsychologist Dr. José Silva. During his talk, Dr. Silva said, “Negative self-talk is the equivalent of letting a drunk monkey loose in your kitchen. In the end, all you’re left with is one big mess.” That perfectly describes the power of negative self-talk, which is what fuels all worry.

The human mind has tens of thousands of thoughts a day. Experts estimate that the range is somewhere between 50,000 to 70,000! And guess what? Most of them are negative. We battle thoughts of doubt, lack, limitation, worry, fear, and death, to name a few. And we continue these same thoughts over and over like a continuous loop in our minds, which appear to be naturally wired to go to bad places. We’ve been conditioned to survive by fear, worry, cynicism, and skepticism. What is the value in that kind of thinking? What do we gain, if anything?

From the earliest age we’re told, “Don’t talk to strangers,” “Look both ways before you cross the street,” “Be afraid of barking dogs,” “You’ll get hurt,” and “Don’t go into the park at night.” We interpret things based on our experiences, values, and habits. We’ve been conditioned to believe that most things in life are a little scary. Our reaction is habitual, and we are unaware of it until it’s too late. We have a tendency to go back to our mental filing cabinet, our old experiences, and, like it or not, rehash the past. This response shapes our emotions and thoughts in any particular moment. During my live seminars, I ask participants to look at the person to their right and say, “Your head is a scary place to be.” Everyone always laughs, but that statement is so true.

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without worry?

How much bigger would your life and experiences be if you weren’t worried about failure?

How would you respond to things if you couldn’t worry about the outcome?

Imagine walking down a dark alley with zero fear, or meeting the person of your dreams and having no hesitation or apprehension of being rejected or hurt. That’s a powerful possibility, isn’t it?

My wife and I took a trip to New York City several years ago. She grew up in Southern California, so her only image of Central Park was what she had heard on the news—not even recent news, but the old stories to stay out of the park at night, that it’s a dangerous place where people get raped, mugged, and murdered. My goal on that trip was to get Kathy over her fear of Central Park. One night after dinner, I suggested we walk back to our hotel by cutting across the park. She reluctantly agreed. As we strolled, I explained to her that if she fed her fear, she would never be able to enjoy the beautiful setting.

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