Letters to Laura by Wesley Rivers

Author:Wesley Rivers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: personal growth, inspiration, lesbian, grief, selflove, lesbian breakup, grief advice, inspiration and romance, inspiration and personal growth, lesbian love and relationships

May 25, 2013

Laura,

I realized something this week that was not easy…no wait, it was fucking unreasonably hard. I realized I may have misjudged the ability of people to be mature and non–biased in situations such as this. What is the situation, you might ask? The same song and dance that half a million other people all across the globe are putting on right now as I write this letter—that typical “I love you” but now “I hate you” performance…more like a freak side show if you ask me.

We get into relationships, claiming to adore this person we are with. We say things like “you know me so well”, “I just love everything about you”, “you’re so wonderful”, and my personal favorite “you’re too good for me”. Whammo! That one cracks me up every single time.

Why the cynicism? Probably because for the past few months since we broke up, you (and apparently some of your friends who I thought respected me) have been running your mouths like its hot topic time on The View.

I feel angry. I feel betrayed. I guess I expected too much from these people who I called “friends.” Maybe I did. I mean, they were your friends first. Their loyalties lie with you and that is completely understandable and respectable. However, I cannot overlook the way it’s all gone down, especially in the past few days.

I have had to hear the she said he…well, we’re all lezzys here so, the “she said, she said” bullshit ever since the break–up. People who barely ever spoke two words to me have been sharing their opinions on the lesbian showdown we staged—obviously for their entertainment and gossiping delight, right? Wrong. The worst is none of these individuals really know me, yet their opinions of me are found swirling around within the confines of my life every few days or so.

I get to hear one of my friends inform me that they encountered so and so at such and such the other day and heard blah blah blah. Are my friends taunting me? No. Not at all. Usually the rumors are brought up in concern for me. “Don’t assume everyone is your friend sweetie, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” “I know you want to believe everyone is good and has your best interest at heart, but not everyone does.” My friends, flawed and human as they are, rock 97% of the time. The other 3% is made up of misunderstandings, miscommunication, and plain old human ickiness.

I am not saying all of your “mutual” friends since the break–up have participated in the bash–me sessions, I am pretty sure some of them don’t even waste time on that. I also do not want to insinuate that I hate the ones who have. I actually still care for them greatly.

I don’t hate easy. I make a point not to. I get to choose every day what will consume my life, love or hate. I choose love as often as is humanly possible for me.

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