Jason and the Totally Funky Fleece by Blake Hoena

Author:Blake Hoena [Hoena, Blake]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: 978-1-4965-8360-4; 978-1-4965-8461-8; children’s books; books; Greek; Greek mythology; mythology; myths; chapter books; boys; gross; humor; chapter books; action and adventure; friendship; Hercules; Theseus; Medusa; Perseus; folk tales; comics; cartoons
Publisher: Capstone
Published: 2019-09-27T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

That night, Jason worries about the challenges King Aeetes will present to him tomorrow. As he worries, he PFFFTS!

“That smells worse than Ares’ underwear,” Hercules says.

“And he never washes them,” Theseus adds.

“Hercules would know,” Odysseus says.

“He was once dared to steal them,” Perseus adds.

“I am just nervous about tomorrow’s challenges,” Jason says and then lets loose a PTTTBBB!

His friends all gasp and cover their noses.

Just then, a voice whispers in the night, “Maybe I can help.”

Out of the shadows steps a woman. Her face is hidden under the hood of a robe.

“Who are you?” Jason asks.

“My name is Medea, and I am the king’s daughter,” the woman says. “I will help you, but only if you take that funky fleece away. My father likes to wear it around the house, and it smells worse than sweaty socks. No, worse than that, like the sweaty socks were barfed up by a giant slug and then flushed down the sewers of the Underworld. It smells horrible.”

“But how?” Jason asks.

“Take these,” she says, handing Jason a pair of gloves and a clothespin. “You will understand tomorrow.”

The next morning, Jason and his friends go to find King Aeetes. He is standing outside his horse stables. Next to him is a giant ball of brown stinky stuff.

“Is that horse manure?” Perseus asks.

“Smells like it,” Theseus says as he leans in for a big sniff.

Odysseus pokes the ball with his pinky and then licks the finger clean. “Tastes like it, too,” he adds.

“It is, and it’s for Jason’s first tasks,” King Aeetes says. “I want you to bring it up to that hill.”

“But the smell!” Jason moans.

That is when he remembers the clothespin Medea gave him. He puts it on his nose.

“That’s better,” Jason says. “But I don’t want to touch it.”

And that is when he remembers the gloves Medea gave him. He quickly puts them on.

Then Jason pushes and rolls, shoves and heaves, the ball of dung up the hill. By the end he is covered in poo from head to toe. But at least our hero can’t smell the mess, not like everyone else.

“Now what?” Jason asks.

“Spread it out over this field,” King Aeetes says.

“Okay,” Jason says grabbing a handful of manure. “But I really wish Medea would have given me a shovel.”

Jason flings and tosses, throws and chucks the horse poop everywhere.

He is now more a mess than even before.

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