Herr Melby Makes Coffee by Gavin William Wright

Author:Gavin William Wright
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: relationships, coffee, winter, gay class difference, zx, marriage, railway, gay age difference, norway, historic fiction
Publisher: Favourite Colours

Mosnes made a sudden smooth movement, placing his hand warmly over the hand of the younger man; Melby didn’t withdraw his own immediately, but soon enough, he slid it from underneath as if not trying to disturb the hand upon it.

“No.”

It was firm, very definite, but clearly uncomfortable.

“What is it?” Mosnes asked, rather ineffectually, reaching for his drink. Melby was silent, now he had his hands in his lap, into which he sheepishly looked down.

“What? Can we not be…?” Mosnes’ voice faded away, perhaps unsure of what it was they could not be.

Herr Melby looked up to the cobwebs on the ceiling, dusty grey. He breathed out every stress within him and explained:

“It’s not that I don’t…but…or even that I’m not…something is different now, it is so peculiar – I want to be with you, but I don’t feel we belong together, not like this.”

“Are you leaving me?”

“Leaving you? Leaving what? This?” And he gestured the windowless hut.

“It’s all we have!”

“I know. I know.”

Mosnes put his hand against Melby’s upper arm – it wasn’t shrugged away, but the muscle was tensed and his body twisted to lessen the pressure of the contact.

“So,” Mosnes continued, after the silence had returned; without the fussing of coffee-making the awkwardness was now gruesome. Mosnes spoke as if it was absolutely his intention, rather than out of obligation, and with a juvenile sarcasm awash with a hint of embarrassment at having been called like this.

“So, there is love and attraction, but you don’t want to meet me – well, that makes a lot of sense.”

“It makes no sense at all. Don’t you see?” And his voice raised a few semi-tones, almost the timbre of anger in it. “This is impossible for me – I don’t know how I can live without you, even though this is mostly all we have…”

“Had!” Mosnes amended, pointlessly, obstreperously. And Herr Melby’s look immediately told him this, Mosnes realised he wasn’t helping himself; Melby, realising he had made the right decision, found a new confidence buoyed his conviction.

“We don’t belong together, do we?” Herr Melby whined. “There’s not enough to keep us.”

“There’s not enough to keep me with my wife, but there I stay, we only meet…”

“We only meet – yes – yes, we do only meet. Sometimes I just want you to myself, for you to leave her: come with me south to København or Amsterdam, or go to New York. And then, oh! then there are times when I just want to leave you here, to be damned.”

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