Hate, Rinse, Repeat (A Gamble on Love Mom Com Series Book 3) by Whitney Dineen & Melanie Summers

Author:Whitney Dineen & Melanie Summers [Dineen, Whitney & Summers, Melanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: 33 Partners & Indigo Group
Published: 2022-10-27T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 25

Maisy

My body can’t seem to absorb all the shock from the day. As soon as Chase leaves, I start to shake. It gets so bad I’m afraid I’m having convulsions. Grabbing hold of the handrail so I don’t hurtle to my death, I pull myself upstairs and walk into the bathroom. Then I turn on the faucet in the tub and pour in a capful of bubble bath.

Once I get undressed and step in, I let the cocoon of heat warm me. The chills leave and I’m left with the aching pit of despair gnawing at my insides. Tonight, I saw what a great dad Chase would have been—what a great dad he will be. I can’t reconcile the sadness I feel for keeping him from Jack. But that’s nothing compared to the heartbreak of knowing what Jack has missed out on.

The hate that’s grown inside of me since childhood has become an ugly monster. It’s kept me from seeing the truth about Chase, and the truth about myself. Is it possible that people weren’t as mean to me as I thought they were? Did I just feel so bad about myself that I created unnecessary angst?

Tears of confusion pour down my cheeks and I make no effort to wipe them away. Are my feelings about the past all based on misconception? I can’t imagine that’s true. I was a child with a couple of large targets painted on me. And as a rule, kids aren’t known for their kindness toward people who are different. They’re more Lord of the Flies and survival of the fittest creatures.

My mom used to tell me, “Kids are crap, Maisy, but they grow up. The trick is to accept them when they do.”

“Mom,” I whisper out loud, “I’ve made a mess of everything. Chase found out the truth about Jack before I could tell him and now he won’t forgive me. The boy I’ve loved my whole life, the father of my son, wants nothing to do with me. Please help me, Mom. Please help me fix what I’ve done.”

Sinking down so my ears are under the water, I open up my mind to her counsel. But nothing comes. No wise words, no platitudes, nothing. I must be in the tub for almost an hour because the water is actually cool when I get out.

I hurry to put on my plush pink bathrobe and then I crawl under the covers. The minute I close my eyes, I fall into a deep and dreamless sleep. It’s like my consciousness has gone through so much today that my subconscious is in a state of shock and can’t begin to sort out the mess.

When my alarm rings at five, I turn it off and start the horrible replay of yesterday. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the entire town is going to be talking about me, Chase, and Jack today. And as Chase is the town hero, one guess who the town villain will be.

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