God Is My Broker by Brother Ty & Christopher Buckley & John Tierney

Author:Brother Ty & Christopher Buckley & John Tierney [Ty, Brother]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-79955-5
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2011-12-21T05:00:00+00:00

MONEY WON’T MAKE YOU

HAPPY UNLESS YOU SPEND IT.

Market Meditation the Fifth

Did not buying something nice ever make me happy?

Did I ever see a gorgeous, expensive car in a showroom and say to myself, What a waste of money buying that would be!?

Am I really saying, I’m not good enough for that car?

Does God think that car is too good for me? Does God drive around in a '78 Corolla?

How long has it been since I went out and really splurged on something nice?

What’s stopping me from doing it right now?

“INSUFFICIENT FUNDS”?

What about the saying “You have to spend money in order to make money”?

Your questions are simply dazzling. You’re making amazing progress. Now, gather up all your recent credit-card receipts. (Do not fold them into paper airplanes!) Go through each purchase carefully, and ask yourself, Did buying this leave me with a happy feeling? Or did it leave me with a really happy feeling? Then put it into one of two piles: HAPPY and REALLY HAPPY. Take out a pencil, calculator, and piece of paper, (IMPORTANT! Do not use the paper airplane for this purpose!) Okay Add up the total purchase price for each pile. Ready? Take your time.… Your two piles might look something like this:

HAPPY REALLY HAPPY

$32 electric nasal hair remover $412 mink-lined toilet-seat cover

$26 carton of cigarettes $1,330 diamond zodiac-sign pendant

$72 pistol (Czech-made, .22 caliber) $2,730,000 cabin cruiser (turbocharged)

$130 Total $2,731,742 Total

Okay, now divide the total of each pile by the number of receipts in that pile to find the Average Price Per Item.™ Take time to check your math carefully. For the examples above, the APPI™ for the HAPPY pile would be $43.33. The APPI™ for the REALLY HAPPY pile would be $917,247.33. Your actual numbers may be different—that’s okay. But by now you have noticed a crucial difference between the two piles: REALLY HAPPY costs a whole lot more than HAPPY. If this isn’t the case, go back and check your math, or call your credit-card company and have your card canceled immediately!

Does it all “seem to fit”? You bet it does. This is known as the First Corollary to the Fifth Law™: the more money you spend, the happier you’ll be.

Prayer of the Cheerful Spender

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