Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook by Jim Burns

Author:Jim Burns
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Marriage, Getting Ready for Marriage, Homeword, Workbook, Relationships
Publisher: David C Cook
Published: 2015-02-08T00:00:00+00:00

EXERCISE TWO

The Power of an Apology

It is so much easier to deal with conflict when you offer a sincere, heartfelt apology. We have found that the three types of apologies we present are not only powerful but also offer a breakthrough toward deeper intimacy in marriage.

It’s helpful to your future to learn that every conflict doesn’t need a winner or a loser.

REGRET: Offering regret and remorse for causing hurt.

“I spoke in anger and not only did I not mean the hurtful things I said, but I am deeply sorry for saying them. Please forgive me.”

RESPONSIBILITY: Taking full responsibility for an action, word, or tone.

“I blew it. I tried to make my issue about you. It wasn’t. I caused you pain, and I am deeply sorry for offending you. Please forgive me.”

REMEDY: While you can’t always undo the past, you can often repair the wrong.

“I was wrong. I can see how I hurt you. I need to make it right and will do so by _____________________. Please forgive me.”

When sincere apologies become part of your relationship, you will experience much-needed healing and reconciliation. So much pain can be avoided if one of you admits your pride, embraces humility, and offers an apology.

Using the three types of apologies as a model, write your fiancé three short apology notes. If you can’t think of a current issue requiring an apology, go ahead and bring up a past issue that has been resolved so that you can practice. This is an important exercise because the process of articulating an apology serves as a significant action in overcoming conflict.

Don’t start with the other person. Start by looking in the mirror and reflecting deeply on where the anger originated.

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