Fire Season by KD Casey

Author:KD Casey
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Carina Press
Published: 2022-05-14T17:15:58+00:00

Reid

Avis is excitable on the drive back, head half out the window, eagerly woofing every time Reid points out a landmark like a tour guide. He cracks his window open. Through it, the familiar smell of the coast and the high whip of wind.

“She’s usually less thrilled about the car,” Charlie says.

“Maybe the country did her some good.”

Across the truck, Charlie’s hands are stiff on the wheel. “I think Chris knows something is going on. With us.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Just a sense. She didn’t say anything if you’re worried.”

“She’s your ex, not mine. Did you want to tell her about this?” Reid motions between them. “Seems a little early.” Which it is. Maybe early is the wrong word. Early implies duration. Permanence. Neither of which they have.

“I don’t think she’d have an issue with it. Most of her friends are gay. Or queer. I don’t know the right word. It’s probably different if it’s your husband. Ex-husband.”

Which is a lot to unpack, so Reid hums an agreement.

“Did your ex know that you, uh, sleep with men?”

“Yeah, Letitia knows I’m queer. It’s not a secret. Things were kind of complicated, but most of it had to do with me drinking.” A conversation he spent three days working up to, only for her to tell him that he flirts with everyone, including men at bars. Said amusedly at first. Then later brought up with an edge of suspicion that he was screwing around behind her back.

A long pause from Charlie, a drum of his hands on the steering wheel. “I just want to tell everybody.”

“I remember that feeling.” Another conversation, years later, in his grandmother’s apartment, stomach rising up his throat. When she rubbed her knuckles against his ear and told him that if Yogi Berra could support gay rights, so could she, even if he had the mortal flaw of playing for the wrong New York team.

And he composed and erased various texts to his parents, his tumult of cousins, as if they were talking to him. Which they weren’t. Aren’t. A feeling he doesn’t want to deny Charlie, so he depresses the button controlling the window, lowering it. “Here. You can tell all of Marin County.”

“What, just shout it out there?”

“Why not?”

Charlie’s laughing, a little. “Hey, Marin County, I’m...” He trails off, shaking his head. “I probably need to figure that out first. You ever think about telling guys on the team?”

A thought Reid’s had before and discarded, even if no one really gives much of a fuck who minor leaguers sleep with. “Teams are always looking for reasons not to sign someone.”

“What about, I don’t know, coming out publicly?”

And he remembers that feeling too, of wanting to take out a billboard, to proclaim this is who he is, and the world could go screw itself. Until the reality of what it would mean set in. “No one would care.”

Charlie glances over at that like he wants to disagree.

“I’d be a human-interest piece for about a day.”

“People would care.” Said with that way Charlie gets.

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