Fated by S.G. Browne

Author:S.G. Browne [Browne, S.G.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: NAL
Published: 2010-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 29

Over the past few months I’ve discovered how much work it is to try to help humans rather than just allow them to screw up their lives. I suppose this is kind of what it’s like to be a parent, but since I’ve never taken care of anything other than a couple of woolly mammoths and a python that disappeared down the toilet back in the 1970s, I never realized how rewarding parenting can be. Or how difficult it is to stand by and watch your children make mistakes when your guidance could save them a lot of heartache and disappointment.

Technically, Jerry never told me to stop getting involved in the fates of my mortals. He just told me I should know better and that I had to think about the consequences of my actions. While that argument might hold up in the terrestrial world, Jerry tends to get a little pissy when you misinterpret his decrees. And disobeying a direct order from Jerry isn’t exactly the best way to stay on his good side. Just ask Satan.

Of course, he did threaten me with punitive action. But then, Jerry’s always threatening someone. And though his bark can often be worse than his bite, Jerry doesn’t tend to make idle threats. So while it’s unlikely I’ll get banished to the underworld, Jerry could suspend me without powers. And when you can’t transport or go invisible, it kind of takes the shine off of being immortal.

But getting my powers suspended isn’t the worst that can happen. If Jerry really gets pissed, he could strip me of my immortality. Which would suck. I’d have to get a job, a new place to live, and my man suit would eventually wear out. And when my man suit wears out, so will I.

Not exactly how I want to celebrate my 257,981st birthday.

So if I want to be able to maintain the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed, I’m going to have to give up my newfound purpose and allow my humans to continue to make the wrong choices.

This has been harder to accept than I expected, which has made for a sullen Fabio. Sara has tried to cheer me up by actually cooking a meal for me instead of reheating leftovers and by cleaning my apartment in a French maid’s outfit, but when I’m depressed, I just want to lie on the couch and eat some Ben & Jerry’s and watch reruns of Seinfeld.

So I decide I need a change of scenery. I need to go someplace tropical. Someplace relaxing. Someplace where I can get away from it all.

“Come on, Shadow Fury!”

I’m at the Daytona Beach Dog Track in Florida, watching the sixth race at the Wednesday matinee. I’ve already hit the daily double and one exacta. When Shadow Fury crosses the finish line first, that’ll give me the winner in five out of six races. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Lady Luck is helping me place my bets.

“Come on, Shadow Fury!” she screams out, a half-finished cranberry and vodka in one hand and her race ticket in the other.

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