Dresses and Other Catastrophes by Dani O'Connor

Author:Dani O'Connor [O'Connor, Dani]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Fiction, Contemporary, Lesbian
ISBN: 9781883523978
Google: VPWwLQAACAAJ
Amazon: 1883523974
Goodreads: 3199194
Publisher: Spinsters Ink
Published: 2008-11-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

My wedding day. My wedding day. That was the first thought that jumped into my head the second I awoke Tuesday morning.

It seemed as foreign to me as the sounds of the street below. I didn’t bother to look at the clock because I knew I had all day to do nothing but panic and get dressed. I lay in bed for what seemed like hours thinking about what I had gotten myself into.

I had been married before, so marriage itself wasn’t an untried idea for me. Of course, I was married to a man even though men were an unwanted concept to me. I stared at the ceiling and thought about the notion of marriage. I wondered what would be any different about our lives once we were married. We’d been living together for years, we had a routine, and we were monogamous. I tried to think of one thing that would be altered by this little ceremony. Nothing came to mind.

I rolled over and went back to sleep. I felt a little more refreshed and confident when I awoke the second time. I thought again about my earlier question: What would be different? Then it occurred to me that while nothing would be different, we would have told the world we’re going to settle for that nothing together, forever. Maybe marriage wasn’t about anything more than the ceremony. We’d still be together either way, but by having a ceremony we had the opportunity to celebrate our commitment with those around us.

Of course it was more than the ceremony, I knew that.

There wouldn’t be such a struggle in our community to fight for the right to marry if it was just about a party. Marriage was also about being legally recognized as human beings together in a relationship—two people who have legally agreed to conquer the world as one. Two people who took an oath to look out for one another, keep each other’s best interests in mind and make decisions together regarding health, finances and family.

I thought about my twin sister and how wonderful it would have been to be able to tell her I married Sam. I remembered the day I went to the hospital and was forced to say good-bye to Amy. It occurred to me that if it had been Sam who was dying, I might not have even been allowed in the room. I might have been denied my good-bye. Marriage, for us anyway, wasn’t going to change that. The ceremony wasn’t going to be legally viable.

There was a chance that we would never be counted as wife and wife. It was a chance I was willing to take in hopes that one day…the day that I am on my deathbed, Sam would be allowed to visit, and hold my hand and stroke my hair…and say good-bye when our journey was over.

There it was; I’d figured it out. Marriage is a promise that you won’t die alone. Marriage is a way of saying I will take care of you when you need me to.

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