Dewdrops by Dan Flanigan

Author:Dan Flanigan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: short story, novella, addiction, coming of age
Publisher: Dan Flanigan
Published: 2020-05-06T00:00:00+00:00

6

Ray, surprised by Paula’s outburst because it is so out of her character, is confused for a moment. Recovering, he says, “Okay, Paula, no name calling. Just tell him how he makes you feel.”

“He’s so vicious. As if affection is a sin.”

Maggie says, “If he can’t fuck it, he tries to kill it.”

“We haven’t done anything like that,” Paula says.

“You’re losing it, Paula,” says Ray. “He’s winning.”

“He makes me ashamed. He just makes me want to crawl off and die.”

“Like your father, Paula?”

“My father wasn’t like him.” She sobs. “My father was gentle...”

“Your father was evil.”

“You’re wrong! You don’t understand!”

“Evil, Paula. The father of lies.”

“No...”

“Worse than Duke, Paula. Worse than Duke by far.”

“Then I’m evil too.”

“That’s exactly what he wants you to believe. It’s time to deal with him. He’s dead, but his hands are still on you.”

“You can’t tell them.”

“No more secrets, Paula. There’s no more time for secrets. The secrets are killing you even more than the pills are killing you. I’ll help you. The group will help you. This may be your last chance, Paula.”

Maggie begs, “Do it, Paula, please.”

Angel says, “We love you, Paula.”

“I can’t!” Paula cries out.

Ray stands up and signals to Maggie to switch chairs with him so that he is sitting next to Paula.

“Alex, get the batacca please.”

Alex rises from his chair, goes to the wall where the batacca rests, picks up the bat, slides the cushion over in front of Paula, then stands holding the bat out to her.

She hesitates.

“You have to talk to him,” says Ray, not commanding now, imploring. “You have to tell him what he did to you. The shame. The shame you turn on yourself. Give it back to him. It’s not yours. It’s his.”

She takes the batacca from Alex.

Ray points to Duke. “There he is. Talk to him.”

“Not him.”

“Yes, him. It’s him. Think of Duke as your father. Tell him what it’s really like for you, Paula. Duke, move up here closer.”

“Fuck this,” says Duke, “I’m not gonna do it.”

“Do it! Move up here now! For once you’re gonna help someone.”

Angel and Alex visibly squirm, an involuntary almost unconscious response to the vehemence of Ray’s rage at Duke. They sense Ray is nearly unhinged, has arrived at some breaking point.

“Don’t make him do that, Ray,” Angel says, “it’s not right.”

“Shut up, Angel,” Ray says, nearly shouting. “You’re not helping. Duke, are you going to do what I say or not?”

Duke moves his chair slightly forward, only minimally complying.

“Talk to him, Paula,” Ray commands.

She takes in a deep breath, and her voice quivers with emotion. “Daddy...She stops. “Ray, I can’t do this! I can’t look at him,” pointing to Duke.

Thwarted, Ray gives up on this angle. “Okay, Paula. Move back, Duke.”

“Thank God!” says Angel.

Duke gets up, leaving the empty chair in front of Paula, and returns to his seat. But he is still not far away from Paula and is directly in her line of sight.

“Okay, Paula,” says Ray, gentle again. “No more excuses, no more evasions. It’s time.

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