Deviations: Domination by Chris Owen Jodi Payne

Author:Chris Owen, Jodi Payne [Payne, Chris Owen, Jodi]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Published: 2011-10-19T01:35:52+00:00

Deviations: Domination

by Chris Owen, Jodi Payne

the way that I want you. This is my truth, Tobias. I'm not afraid. I don't worry. I trust you."

"But I am, sweetheart. I worry. I trust you to know yourself, but I'm ... I lose. It's just the way things have always been—the only constant in my life is an eighty-three year old woman who thinks you and Phan hung the moon.

Not that she's wrong, but ... God." He stood up and pushed a hand through his hair. "Can we just agree that I'm neurotic and pretend this conversation never happened? That you didn't see me like this?"

"No," Noah stood with him. "Look, I understand what you're telling me. You hate feeling helpless. You couldn't help

... Danny, was it? Or your parents or Phan, and they all left you. I'm hearing you, baby. But you can help me. You are helping me.... Look. Would you rather stand here and worry about a year from now or enjoy this moment? That's what I'm saying. Look in my eyes, believe that I'm yours right now, and let the rest go."

Tobias tried his best not to cry. He really did, but the prickling behind his eyes was stronger and he could feel the shake in his hands moving up his arms. "I know, Noah," he said softly. "I hate feeling like this. And I know it's something I have to get past." He stood in front of Noah and rubbed at one eye. "I love you. I know you love me, and believe me—

usually the joy of being with you is enough to push the rest away. It's just ... about eighteen hours of building up to a good cry, you know?" He took one of Noah's hands in his and tried to smile.

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