Confessions of a Sheba Queen by Autumn Bardot

Author:Autumn Bardot
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781627785129
Publisher: Cleis Press
Published: 2020-05-14T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 31

I wanted Shani. It was wrong. Most of her life she had been taken advantage of by greedy men and women who mistreated her and objectified her. My desire was not for her as a novelty, but as a friend, as an artist, as a guardian, and I never wished to use her the way so many others had. Nonetheless I convinced myself that a queen’s needs came before anyone else’s. Convinced myself that nothing less than her extraordinary touch would bring about complete healing and restore my energy.

Beautiful ebony-skinned Shani closed and locked my chamber door. She turned about, licked her lips, and stared at the floor.

Though the air was fragrant with fresh flowers to dispel all traces of my illness, we breathed in each other’s scent.

“Shani…” Words escaped me. You’re beautiful, seemed trite. I want you, too imprecise. Fuck me, too demanding.

“What can I do for you, your Excellency?” Shani asked, her eyes focused on the floor.

“What do you want to do for me?” As much as I desired Shani, she had to come to me of her own free will.

Shani lifted her gaze, her large brown eyes heart-wrenchingly tender. “I could never do enough. You’ve given me a new life—allowed me to embrace all of me—all of the parts of my heart.”

“You deserve nothing less.”

Shani set her blade on the table by the door and crossed the room. “I have a confession.” She kneeled down by the bed, her eyes shiny with adoration. “I will understand if you send me away.”

My heart sank. I had misunderstood her lingering gazes and shy smiles. How stupid of me. “I cannot imagine what you have to confess that would cause me to do such a thing.”

Shani took a deep breath. “It’s wrong, I know, but I can’t help it. I can’t stop the feeling. I should leave Ma’rib but I can’t. I can’t.” Her eyes met mine. “I love you, your Excellency.”

I did not love Shani. I cared for her. I lusted for her, craved her. I wanted to explore her sensual gifts and bask in her sexual power.

“I have a confession as well. I hope you won’t think the worse of me for it.” I set my small hand on her large one. “I am not capable of that kind of love. But I do love fucking. My soul and body demand it. I cannot give my heart to you but I can give you my body.”

Shani reached out and touched my cheek. “That is more than I hoped for.”

My fingers closed around hers and gave a quick tug.

Shani grinned, her bright white smile infectious, and settled on the bed next to me. “When you’re feeling better—”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. “Fucking cures everything.”

There was nothing shy about our first kiss. Nothing halting or tentative. We sighed into each other, two lovers finally enjoying a mutual but inappropriate desire. I should not bed my bodyguard. Shani ought not be in love with her queen.

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