Complete Family Wealth by James E. Hughes Jr. & Susan E. Massenzio & Keith Whitaker

Author:James E. Hughes, Jr. & Susan E. Massenzio & Keith Whitaker
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781119453185
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2017-10-25T14:00:00+00:00

Wealth and Friends

If we think through what we are truly looking for in friendship, we will be in a much better position to be good friends ourselves. This is the key to friendship generally.

Great financial capital brings added complexity to friendship. As mentioned, many members of the rising generation in families with significant wealth worry that friends do not like them for who they are but rather for what they have. This worry can be exacerbated when their family name is publicly known or when their parents or grandparents have made significant gifts to their schools or colleges. We have even known of situations where teachers have called out rising-generation family members in their classrooms, commenting on their parents’ financial capital.

Again, the key to having good friends is being a good friend. When it comes to dealing with friends, roommates, or the like about money, some of the more specific practices that we have found helpful include:

Creative omission: If it’s not already known, it’s not necessary to draw attention to your financial resources. As we mentioned in the early part of this book, there are times when the old taboo on talking about money is quite healthy.

Deflecting the conversation away from others’ speculation about what you have: Be ready with other topics for conversation. Most people will get the hint.

Redirecting the conversation back to what’s important: What your goals are, what you’re trying to achieve, and how these choices will impact your relationship as friends.

Proper assertiveness: If someone is not getting the hint and it’s not appropriate to talk about money, then say so. “My family’s resources are something we treat as private, and my family members rely upon me to uphold that value. As my friend, I hope you understand that.”

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