Circus Hearts 3: All Aces by Ellie Marney

Author:Ellie Marney
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dark YA Romance
Publisher: Bearded Lady Press
Published: 2018-09-15T00:00:00+00:00

Seven

About two hours after the phone call with my mother, I understand exactly how much trouble I am in with this exam.

Human Physiology and Biomechanics is one of the core subjects for this portion of my degree, and I am not on top of it. But the exam is on Thursday, whether I like it or not.

After showering to make myself feel more alert and less panicked, I call Sorsha to tell her I’ll be holed up in my room for the foreseeable future, and to contact me if she hears anything about Zep’s case.

‘What about dinner?’

‘I can’t make it to the mess.’ I braid my hair, with my phone on hands-free, then start stacking books. ‘I’m so far behind, you have no idea.’

I stare at my desk. My anatomy charts have been neglected for almost a week. My notes are not up-to-date at all. Having always considered myself a good student–efficient, organised, goal-focused–it is distressing to realise that I am, in fact, an idiot.

‘You can’t study properly if you don’t get some sustenance,’ Sorsha points out. ‘Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to study. I’m going to bring you a dukey box from the mess later tonight, plus a thermos of coffee. And I’ll talk to Judy Wilkinson on the serving line about getting you some hot drinks and snacks after hours, so you don’t perish.’

My throat gets thick. ‘Thank you so much, Sorsha. You’re an amazing friend.’

‘Hey, that’s what friends do. It’s what you did for me. Now, go–study like the wind. I got your back.’ I hear the grin in her voice as she disconnects.

Then there’s nothing left to do except sit at my desk and work.

I ‘study like the wind’. That’s an inappropriate analogy. I don’t believe the wind ever has to study. If it did, I can guarantee it wouldn’t groan and sigh and get sleepy like I do. My concentration is fractured: too much of my mental capacity is taken up by thoughts of Zep, and where he might be, and what he might be coping with.

I’m also thinking about the arson case, and the look on Fleur’s face when she found out Zep had been arrested. Then there’s my mother and my uncle, and the pressure coming from home… I have to make a decision, and soon. It doesn’t seem possible, under these conditions, to decide anything with certainty.

Sorsha comes to my room around eight, tells me there’s no additional news from Fleur about Zep’s case and asks about my progress. My breathing starts to crank up while I’m explaining everything on my To Do list–I try to calm myself. The last thing I need right now is to have another asthma attack.

Being behind on my work is terrifying. It throws me off balance. But by midnight, I’m starting to understand the enormity of the task at hand, and I’ve taken some steps to manage it. Drawing up charts, making lists and sticky-noting references helps me feel as if I’m imposing order.

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