Care and Nurture for the Submissive - A Must Read for Any Woman in a BDSM Relationship (Women's Guide to BDSM Book 2) by Elizabeth Cramer

Author:Elizabeth Cramer [Cramer, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Living Plus Healthy Publishing
Published: 2013-11-09T13:00:00+00:00

Redwood trees in California live for hundreds of years. Why? Because you never see one alone. They grow together, intertwining their roots so when one leans the strength of the other holds it up. The same is true for us. The more grounded we are with a family of friends the better we will thrive and the longer we stay around.

Chapter 5: Refresh, Re-grow - Communicating with Your Dom

Life in any garden is thorny business and no one goes through it without collecting some scratches and scars along the way. Women have many ways of healing the wounds they encounter on their journey. Some go through therapy and learn techniques to create healing patterns, others spend time involved with introspection and find a healing perspective, and many stuff their wounds deep inside so they can move forward. There are also those wounds that simply never heal.

Be aware, the nicks and cuts your soul experiences will all come rising to the surface as the intensity of your submissive relationship builds. Offering your body and soul to another will expose your pains (old and new) as surely as lemon juice reveals a paper cut.

Imagine you and your Dom are working on changing a habit, such as being late to work, and you relapse and show up late. That night he gives you a disciplinary spanking and you have a talk about changing the habit. He sends you to bed early and does some work and plays online while you wait in the bedroom for him to come back.

The minutes tick away like hours and soon you feel angry, alone, depressed and off-balance. When he comes into the room the feelings remain and even his aftercare and hugging don’t seem to help. What’s happening? An old wound – perhaps an unavailable father who worked too much or a mother who coldly dispatched discipline – has opened back up. It isn’t just impacting your past – it is affecting you now.

The first emotion women feel when an old wound resurfaces is disappointment. This was something they thought they dealt with long ago. They tell themselves, “I’m a big girl, now.” The reaction to that disappoint is usually self-anger. Women often feel like they have somehow failed at healing or are weak when they discover the past interfering in the present.

If that is the case, cut yourself some slack. You probably healed those wounds to the best of your ability. The reality is that D/s involves power exchange, which means you are under someone’s authority – just like you were as a child. So it’s natural those deep wounds made in us during early childhood will arise when we experience authority and discipline from another person.

The best thing to do in the above scenario would be to talk to your Dom as soon as you identify your feelings and share what went wrong with the session. Make sure to use “I” statements (“I felt abandoned and unloved”) not blaming statements (“You made me feel abandoned and unloved.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.