Beyond the Fence by Alexia Muelle-Rushbrook

Author:Alexia Muelle-Rushbrook [Muelle-Rushbrook, Alexia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Alexia Muelle-Rushbrook
Published: 2023-01-07T16:00:00+00:00

THIRTY-TWO

Helga didn’t come back in the evening. A group of us sat outside the Hatchery, all wrapped up in coats and blankets. Gia took her mandolin, Alice the banjo, and I had the guitar and we played for a while, hoping she could hear us and know we hadn’t forgotten her. We did it again for the next two nights. 257 told me she was ‘all right, but the Custodians are worried about her recovery being slower than expected, considering they use ultra-modern techniques.’ I wanted to point out that if they allow someone’s system to run down as far as Helga’s has, then ‘ultra-modern’ or not, they are not going to recover quickly. I decided to keep that to myself – for now.

Finally on the third day, Charlie wheeled her back into the Dorm at lunch time. Helga smiled, thanking us for the music, but went straight to bed, saying: “I’m just so tired.”

I followed her to her room and watched Charlie gently lift her into bed, stretching her out with as much care as any partner ever could. I obviously wouldn’t trade places with her, but a silly part of me envies the bond she has with her bionic companion. At least she knows he is hers for life – whatever that life might be. Every other aspect of her situation is not enviable though and I feel ashamed for considering the one that is.

Helga has a warmth of heart many, me included, could do well to emulate. Be more Helga. Take life’s bumps and smile, be kind and wait for a better day – for that does seem to be her attitude. Maybe it wasn’t always – it cannot have been easy in the early days here – and yet, somehow, she has managed to find peace anyway.

I can see she is truly tired, so I give her a gentle hug-cum-squeeze – one Jorgie would be proud of – and shut the door.

“Is she okay?” asks Emilia. I didn’t realise she had followed me.

“She will be.” I hope.

“I suppose, I shouldn’t be surprised they neuter us when they are done,” she says as we walk to class. “I did think the AIP involved us having babies though,” Emilia whispers, looking at the floor, “…I hoped.”

“None of us truly understood the AIP,” I reply. “We didn’t even know its real name!”

“True. ‘The FARM’ is more apt though.”

“But it also invites more questions from those who are willing or able to ask.” We both sigh simultaneously. “Whatever the name, I probably would have still ended up here.” I think that is the first time I have admitted that out loud. Emilia looks a little shocked, but says nothing. I shrug: “I wouldn’t have let Jay go willingly.”

“Jay? Is that your—”

“Forbidden name? Yes.”

“Huh. Do you know what hap—” I stop her mid-sentence with a wave of my hand as a Shepherd approaches. I simply answer ‘no’ with a shake of my head. This is not a conversation I want to explain to a Shepherd, especially not as I glimpse red in his left palm.

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