BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts by Bill Eddy & Annette Burns & Kevin Chafin

Author:Bill Eddy & Annette Burns & Kevin Chafin [Eddy, Bill & Burns, Annette & Chafin, Kevin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Conflict Resolution, Divorce & Separation, Law, Family Law, Psychology, Social Psychology, Self-Help, General, Communication & Social Skills, -
ISBN: 9781950057108
Google: Wr03zQEACAAJ
Amazon: 1950057100
Publisher: Unhooked Books
Published: 2020-11-02T22:00:00+00:00

Whew! That’s a lot to take in. Angelina seems to feel that Frank needs a lot of education about their son’s needs. This communication isn’t BIFF in any way. How could Angelina have possibly given all this information in a brief format? She probably couldn’t, but based on the background of their case, it doesn’t seem all this information was necessary from Angelina. She knows that Frank consults with the doctor and is present at most appointments, and that about half of Ben’s therapies take place during Frank’s parenting time. So, brief in this case could have been accomplished by Angelina saying “You meet with Ben’s doctors, so you know his recommended diet and that he has to stay well hydrated.”

This email isn’t even informative, despite its length, because there is so much information that it isn’t really useful. There’s just too much, and this type of information should be coming from Ben’s doctors. It’s not friendly: It starts out with accusations of being late, and continues with accusations that Frank feeds Ben inappropriate things. The tone of the email speaks to Frank as if he’s just meeting his son for the first time, instead of the actual history that Frank has been a big part of his life.

As Angelina apparently has some concerns about recent difficulties Ben is suffering, she can try to make her email more BIFF:

From: Angelina

To: Frank

When Ben came home today, he had diarrhea which gives me some concerns about his diet. He also had a cracked lip. I know you are aware, from his doctor, about his dietary restrictions and that he needs to stay well-hydrated. Do you know of anything recently that has changed with his diet, that could have caused this problem?

I read a lot about his syndrome, and if you would be agreeable, I’d like to have a discussion about his diet in each of our homes and what has worked for me. I would also be glad to share what soaps and hypoallergenic products are used in my home, as his skin is so sensitive. Would you be agreeable to having a discussion about these things?

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