Adventure Divas by Holly Morris

Author:Holly Morris
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Non-Fiction
ISBN: 9781588361844
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2008-12-03T22:00:00+00:00

ASHRAM RULES AND REGULATIONS:

• No meat, fish, eggs, alcohol, tobacco and narcotics.

• No personal checks.

• No refunds.

• Playing rock music is not allowed, only chanting.

• No tight pants, shorts, or sleeveless dress allowed.

• It is difficult to maintain the pure vibration, so we request that you abide by the above rules. If anyone disrespects them, serious action will be taken.

My first-ever yoga class takes place at magic hour on a real live ashram on a gorgeous, red-slate terrace overlooking the Ganges. Hot damn. We grab our pads and fall in line with twelve other gringos warming up. A yoga veteran, Cheryl quickly engages in a contorted backbend warm-up thingy.

“Check that out,” I whisper to her, and nod toward Daniel, who is somehow balancing with his arms on a railing, suspended in midair with his legs crossed. His six-pack is a veritable half-rack. The pose and the abs both defy physics.

That’s what happens when Germanic order meets tantric ambition.

“Oh yeah . . . he’s serious,” says Cheryl, unwinding a leg from around her ear.

A bell tinkles and the guru sashays in, wearing a flowing gold robe. “The breath comes in . . .” he says to begin class. My lower back crinkles with every Upward Dog, and something called a vakrasana sends me to the floor in a sprawl. I peel my cheek off the tile, embarrassed, and decide it is ruder and more disruptive for me to stay, so I slink out the back of the class.

I trundle down to a deserted edge of a Ganges tributary, sort of bothered by the trappings of the sacred served up for gringos. An orange robe, a bunch of oms, and an excess of crystals shouldn’t annoy me so much. I sit by the water and worry about the loss of footage. I worry that persistent irreverence can be as constricting as blind reverence. I wonder if there’s a middle ground between the “dead” and the “sacred.” I focus on the river flowing by.

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