A Woman Like Her: The Story Behind the Honor Killing of a Social Media Star by Sanam Maher

Author:Sanam Maher [Maher, Sanam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Women, social science, Feminism & Feminist Theory, True Crime, Murder, General
ISBN: 9781612198408
Google: rX3HDwAAQBAJ
Publisher: Melville House
Published: 2020-01-28T20:30:41.994671+00:00

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When I meet Nighat in Lahore in January 2017 the helpline has been active for close to a month. “I decided to start it up in the name of Allah,” Nighat explains. “I figured I would find the funding.” A few days after Qandeel’s murder, Nighat wrote a tribute and published it online. And then she received a message: a global fund to support activists at critical junctures wanted to give her $5,000. A few weeks later another group got in touch. They offered her $20,000. And in November she won the 2016 Human Rights Tulip award for her work as a digital rights activist. The prize money: more than $100,000. “And just like that, I had the money for the helpline,” Nighat says with a smile.

The helpline receives ninety-five calls in its first month. By the next month, the number has surged to 159 as word spreads. From Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., two women in their early twenties, Shmyla and Hira, answer the phones at the DRF office with a reassuring, “Assalam-o-alaikum, this is the cyber harassment helpline, how can I help you?”

The team received extensive training from a not-for-profit organization before the helpline became operational, and it has been a steep learning curve for Nighat. “I had this moment where I realised I’ve been doing things completely wrong,” she says. “When I told the trainer about some of the ways in which I had to tackle complaints in the past, she was horrified.” She made Nighat promise not to get “inventive” with solutions. It has not been easy to do so. “Initially, we had prepared a script with a psychiatrist and rehearsed it,” explains Shmyla. “We were determined to stick to it. It went out the window pretty quickly.”

The team does not ask for names or any identifying information, but callers usually quickly blurt everything out: real names, identity card numbers, the name of the school or college they study at and so on. They often insist, “I’m an educated person. I come from a good family.” They are scared they won’t be taken seriously. “They give us the information because they want to establish that they’re real,” Shmyla believes. “They want to tell us: I’m a real person. I’m not making this up.”

Many female callers are desperate to prove that they did not invite the harassment and want to send DRF screenshots or messages. Other callers are embarrassed and wanted to talk in hypotheticals. “What if my friend sent pictures to her boyfriend?” one might ask. Some people are suspicious. They do not understand what DRF does and if they are affiliated to the government or police. All the callers have one thing in common: they need the problem to go away immediately.

DRF’s job is to tell the callers about their rights when it comes to harassment and cybercrimes. They help them navigate the NR3C’s system and explain the procedure—including how long it will likely take the FIA to deal with their complaint—and offer emotional support throughout the process of dealing with NR3C officials.

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