A Rogue's Deadly Redemption by Jeannie Ruesch

Author:Jeannie Ruesch [Ruesch, Jeannie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-11-16T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

Lily ached. In the warmth—oh God, the warmth—of Robert’s arms, she wanted to let the waves of pleasure continue to melt through her. And yet, every place he touched, every breath that landed with a gentle whisper on her neck, hurt.

She wanted this. She wanted his love. She wanted his body inside of hers. Oh, how glorious that had felt.

Different.

It took her back to the early days of their marriage, before the miscarriage, before things had gone so wrong. When he’d made the passion slam into her body with a look, making her crazy for more.

Hearing he loved her… She had wanted that for so long. She had dreamed.

She wanted to cling to his words, to wrap them around her and convince herself they were real, that this was real. That anything they shared right now could ever be permanent.

But there was so much he didn’t know.

His arms tightened and he pressed a gentle kiss on her neck. Languid shivers rolled down her shoulders.

“Did you hear me?” he murmured.

She nodded, not trusting her voice. If she spoke, she would tell him what she’d longed for, dreamed about… and everything she had fought so hard to let go of.

In one day, she had abandoned all hope of letting go.

“Lily?”

Robert’s voice was tentative, unsure. That sent a pang deep in her heart. This Robert loved her. This Robert was uncertain about her.

This Robert couldn’t last.

She shifted slightly, nudging his arm so she could slide out. He tightened his grip again.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To put my clothes on.” Her voice was sharper than intended but his grip slackened enough for her to slide off the couch and stand up.

She was stark naked.

Lily grew conscious of every single flaw in her body.

“What happened?” Confusion laced his words, with an underscore of hurt. “Did I do something wrong? Lily, what is it?”

She held her dress up to her bare chest, realizing she couldn’t get dressed without his help. Tears pushed at her eyes, and the words she wanted to say sat in her throat like a lump of unrealized potential.

The need to run and the need for him took opposite positions on the battlefield inside of her, armed and willing to fight, wrapping her tighter and tighter until she struggled to draw a breath.

She had spent years walling herself away from this desire. She had read every gossip innuendo about Robert’s activities over and over again to smack her feelings down, to force herself to admit that her husband was never going to be the man she wanted him to be.

The scandal sheets had said he’d frolicked with other women. She’d so loved that word choice.

He was a criminal.

He’d left her alone to deal with the loss of their child.

You pushed him away.

He didn’t want me.

This man does.

This man isn’t real.

How do you know?

She heard the rustle behind her and seconds after that felt the heat of him behind her. Not touching, though, which made her ache more. She wanted—she wanted so much.

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