A Prison In the Sun by Isobel Blackthorn

Author:Isobel Blackthorn [Blackthorn, Isobel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Next Chapter
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

The Fault Is Not My Own

Shall we sit? Yes, dear friend, let us sit. Let us sit where the thermals rise and face where the sun will set. Let us rest awhile, you and I, entwined in a curious intimacy of bird and man.

Look to where the ocean meets the sky. There, on the horizon of all that can be known with the naked eye, see the pale haze. Where on other days, clear days, the eye will observe a line separating the two hues of blue, one a watery reflection of the other.

Blue, the result of the sun that illumes the world and gives it life.

My eyes behold blue beauty but that solar orb of blazing fire cannot penetrate the black that exists in this husk that is me. A void has grown in the place of life. I'm hollowed out of whatever had once filled me, and now I have only memory to pour back into that dark chamber, memory of what used to exist before it was wrenched away.

Can you see that? Or what do you behold? Do you see into me, my raven companion? Do you want to see into me? Should I let your black-feathered body penetrate my black soul? Or should I resist that final temptation?

I have no answer to satisfy your expectant eye. Perhaps I must set myself a task so that you can truly see into me. Reconstruct myself with all that I was. There was plenty of me, I can assure you of that. I would make a grand story, as grand as another, grander maybe, a soaring tale of adventure and aspiration. Shall I give myself permission to dramatize, add colour where colour is needed, invent a title for myself, leave you, dear raven, on a cliff hanger, leave you wanting more, of me, of my story?

There ought to be more, a sequel, maybe three, for I am young, twenty-seven, ready to re-enter the life I once knew.

The Prodigal Son returns! Aha, if only that were so. I fear the door will forever remain closed as it would on a leper. If it opens even a crack in a moment of intense curiosity, in the next fraction of a second, it will slam back in my face.

My name is José Ramos. My name is José Ramos and I once held a desire to be a journalist. My name is José Ramos, son of a lawyer. I am José Ramos from the ancient town of La Laguna, the middle child of three. I am dutiful, obedient, shy, eager, optimistic, craven and God-abiding José. At least, I once was all those things. I was on the dashing side of looks, too. Yes, I am José Ramos, the sinner. José Ramos, carrying a sickness for which there is no cure. I am José Ramos, and I am gay.

Did I shout all that? No, I only thought it. The raven hears me without my speech. My dark companion, all beady, curious, attentive.

I will tell you then, bird, since you clearly want to know.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.