A Deluge of Dolphins (Book 3 of The Annals of Absurdity) by Joshua Price

Author:Joshua Price
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: superhero novel, joshua price, humorous, captain rescue, superhero comedy, a drizzle of zombies, time travel, dolphins

***

Dr. Malevolent shuddered lightly, overcoming the sensation of having her molecules rearranged. She stared down at her hands and wondered if she was still herself. For all she knew, the dolphins had copied all that she was onto some super-advanced computer, transferred her data to this exit point, and reconstructed her. By that logic, Dr. Malevolent was now some sort of doppelganger, a strange copy of the original. She turned her hands over and inspected the tops and bottoms of them, but they were still her hands, and regardless, she had more important matters at… hand.

Grahfak had whisked the supervillain away to a place near the coast, although she had little idea where she was by modern standards. The continents had all moved and swayed and compressed and probably sunk more than a few times. Wherever they were, by whichever standards she chose to abide by, Charlie, Freight, and Captain Rescue were not far off. She and her new dolphin friend stood within another gazebo. Down the ramp, a dozen or so armored grunts readied themselves for battle, which meant checking the missiles hidden within their hand-launchers.

“Where to?” asked Dr. Malevolent.

Grahfak ushered her down the ramp, and as the two descended, he answered: “There’s a village not far off. We’ll begin our search there.”

“Uh,” Dr. Malevolent said, hesitating, “search how?”

“With explosives,” answered the dolphin.

“Oh. And we're sure they went there?”

Grahfak just shrugged. “Perhaps. Perhaps not. But if they’re there, they will die. If not, then we will have made sure the village offers them no help.”

“Well, okay then.”

They then set off. Along the way, Dr. Malevolent felt the nagging sensation that something horrific was about to transpire, and any signs of dissent would surely be unappreciated. The wasteland soon gave way to a walled city thrown together with sheets of rusted metal from across the land. As the war party neared, Dr. Malevolent could see countless dots scrambling about. Grahfak led her and the dolphins to a good vantage point, and he motioned for everyone to stop.

As Dr. Malevolent caught a glimpse of a rather cute bunny hopping around frantically, to the malevolent supervillain’s surprise, she felt her heart begin to race, and not in a good way. She never thought her love of animals would lead to this. If that were a village full of humans, she wouldn’t be nearly this affected. But alas, those were cute little animals. Dr. Malevolent subtly clenched her fists.

Grahfak dolphin raised his arm into the air, and in accordance, the armored grunts lifted their dozens of arms, letting the metal glisten in the sun. As Grahfak’s hand fell forward, ushering the apocalypse onto the harmless shantytown, Dr. Malevolent closed her eyes. The whizzing of rockets filled her ears, and after a few seconds, they gave way to explosions and bloodied, horrified screams.

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