A Contrary Wind by Lona Manning

Author:Lona Manning
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: regency, abolitionism, austen whatif, mansfield park, austenesque, fanny price
Publisher: Lona Manning

Chapter Sixteen

Fanny lay on a wicker chaise under the trees, watching the children play nearby with the nursery maids. She was able to read and talk to them a little, and wanted to do more rather than less, for her conscience smote her that a se'nnight had elapsed since her recovery, yet she was still too weak to take up her duties. But she was still very tired and pale. At least she had summoned the energy to wash herself thoroughly, over Anna’s shocked protests, and even wash her hair, so that her natural soft curls now covered her head. Her eyes looked large in her face and her cheekbones were more pronounced than they had been before her sickness. She was in nervous anticipation of the visit from Mr. Gibson – the blanket was drawn up to her chin – and she hoped he wouldn’t be too dismayed at her altered appearance.

He arrived, and he was alarmed by her thin frame and her pale countenance, but he hid it well, with his usual warm smile, and he sat down, cross-legged, on the grass beside her with no ceremony.

At his request, she gave him a short description of her illness and recovery, and they sat silent again for a while, and a footman brought them lemonade to drink, and a cushion for him to sit on, then he asked – “What is it like, to almost die? Did you see heaven? What were your thoughts?”

“I have thought about that, Mr. Gibson, and I believe that I profited more while caring for Caroline and Edward than when I was ill myself. Then, I was rational, and I had time to think about a great many things, such as how childish I have been in the past – I mean, as regards my own little difficulties. Oh, and I thought of you, as well.”

“Really?” he sat upright, pleased and attentive.

“You will recall that you asked me if I had read the Old Testament. When I was younger I read the book of Job. And I will acknowledge to you, it appeared unfair and unjust to me at the time that the children of Job should have perished, to test the faith of their father. Why was Job’s soul of more consequence than the souls of his children, and his servants? They were spoken of little differently than his camels and all the other animals he lost. He suffered, yes – but did they not suffer more, by losing their lives? Both Caroline and Edward could have died, and they have already lost a younger brother – but still, am I to believe the common cant that losing a child is truly a test, sent by God, of the parents?”

Mr. Gibson decided to say nothing, partly because he did not wish to attack Miss Price’s faith, especially not at such a time, and also because he was a little disappointed to understand, after her having made so promising a beginning, she had not thought on him much at all, except as someone who had posed a question.

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