...And Dignity for All: Unlocking Greatness through Values-Based Leadership by Jane Bodman Converse & James Despain

Author:Jane Bodman Converse & James Despain
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Business, Personal & Professional Development
Publisher: PH Professional Business

Chapter 11. Alone with My Fears

The fearful Unbelief is unbelief in yourself.

—THOMAS CARLYLE

For the first eight months of my new assignment—before moving to Mexico—my family and I lived in Illinois, near the company's headquarters where I worked. I returned to work confident and anxious to try out some of the leadership and people skills I had gained in Japan. I was excited about the opportunity to use what I'd learned. "What a difference this could make here!" I thought.

My eagerness and hopes, however, were quickly dashed. Although I had visited the States during our six years in Japan, until we moved back I didn't realize how assimilated to Japanese culture I had become. The contrast between our "new" U.S. home and Japan was so severe I began to feel insecure and uneasy almost immediately. The social order and respect that had become part of my natural routine suddenly vanished, replaced by brawling individualism. My fellow managers were louder and more demanding than those in Japan had been. The idea of consensus or constancy of purpose that had distinguished the Japanese culture was not visible. Respect was something demanded by leaders, often extorted from followers by threats or punishment. It was not the quiet, dutiful deference the Japanese showed to those who had position and higher responsibility. No, the Western form of respect was often fear-based, like the respect shown by a puppy for a rolled-up newspaper. I felt lost in this environment, out of sync with my fellow managers, and at the same time out of sync with myself. What was I to do with all I had learned in Japan? Abandon it? Force it on those I worked with? Instead of taking a step forward into my new job, I felt as if I were moving sideways or backward. In my confusion, I put this internal conflict out of my mind and buried myself in my job responsibilities.

My new assignment was providing leadership for the construction of a manufacturing plant in Mexico. I was excited about the job at first—and flattered beyond belief. I was only 43 years old. I didn't have a college education. Yet higher management believed I was capable of handling this responsibility. But reality began to settle in as I learned more about my new job. For the first time in its history, the company had taken a minority position in a joint venture. As president, I would report to the Mexican partner, not to the company. Construction of the facility would be handled by Mexican contractors. Only a limited number of expatriates would accompany me to Mexico. My job was to manage the building of the new plant, handle negotiations with the Mexican government, assemble a staff of Americans to assist the Mexicans with constructing and operating the factory, and hire and manage the Mexican workers who would build the products. Negotiations with the government and joint-venture partner required frequent, sometimes weekly, trips to Mexico City. Day in and day out, I dealt with people I did not know and hundreds of details I had never addressed before.

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