Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick by David Wong & Jason Pargin

Author:David Wong & Jason Pargin [Wong, David & Pargin, Jason]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Science Fiction, Humour, Fantasy, Adventure, Adult
ISBN: 9781250195791
Goodreads: 49127471
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2020-10-13T00:00:00+00:00

20

Zoey woke up in the usual way, with Stench Machine batting at her face with his paw, demanding to be fed. She fought a war against her stiffened limbs to sit upright and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw that she wasn’t alone.

A figure was sitting in the chair in the corner.

A light automatically clicked on, revealing Zoey’s mother, curled up in the chair, asleep.

“Mom?”

She stirred and stretched. “Heeeey.”

“What’s going on?”

“Got in last night, they said you were in bed already. I didn’t want to wake you. I snuck in, wanted to make sure you didn’t have nightmares. You always mumble when you’re dreaming. Remember that, when you were little? When I used to come in and crawl into bed with you?”

“How much do you know? About what happened last night?”

“I was given a carefully edited version of events by your friend Will.”

“I think we’re at war.”

“Aren’t you always?”

“No, it’s different this time. They, uh, are apparently coming after us, somehow. Tonight. If you stay here today, behind the walls, you should be safe.”

She was shaking her head. “No. I have work, then we’re all going to the Black Parade. Got to get to the good spots early.”

“No, Mom, that’s a terrible idea—”

“The bad people can hurt me or not hurt me, but I’m not going to imprison myself. That’s doing their job for them.”

“Will you do it, as a favor to me? So I won’t worry?”

“Will you step away from your life? So I don’t worry?”

“Come on, Mom…”

“I mean it, Z. You could do it anytime you want. Take what you can get away with, an amount they won’t come after you for, and we’ll go away together. Go back home if you want. Could go take a trip to Estes like we used to, see the elk.”

“You know I can’t.”

“I know you think you can’t. Honey, you’re not happy here. What’s here? The money? What’s the money doing for you?”

“Other than allow me to get the absolute best medicine, food, housing, and transportation? Plus warmth in the winter and AC in the summer? And total freedom to go anywhere, anytime, plus power and influence and protection from anyone who would do me harm? Plus a whole world of men who actually have to take my opinions seriously? Other than that, you’re right, it’s just numbers in a bank account.”

Zoey saw the look on her mother’s face and said, “Sorry. But I have to stick this out. I just do.”

Her mother shrugged. “So do I.”

“You know, whenever I’m being stubborn you always say I get it from my father. But I think I get it from you.”

Her mother came over and kissed her on the forehead, for probably the ten thousandth time in her life.

“Love you, Z.”

“I just ask one thing. Will you at least turn your phone on? And answer it if I call?”

“Will do. And I’ll be with friends.”

“With that guy? Clarity?”

“Uh, no, he hasn’t been returning my calls. As soon as he got payment for the skin cream stock, he suddenly canceled our weekend plans.

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