Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate by Warner Brad

Author:Warner, Brad [Warner, Brad]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: buddhism, zen
ISBN: 9781577318439
Publisher: New World Library
Published: 2009-09-01T22:00:00+00:00

* Greg Fain is not the same Greg whose Fourth of July party I went to, by the way.

* The answers aren’t necessarily the same as the ones I gave that day since nobody wrote those down. But they’re pretty close, I think.

CHAPTER 18

OZZFEST

I’m stoned. Did that just happen?” she said, “she” being Melinda, a hanger-on backstage at Ozzfest 2007 in San Bernardino County, California. I told her that indeed “that” had just happened. The “that” in question was that someone had tripped over some bottles behind the stage and made a big noise. Melinda was trying to get close to D. Randall (Randy) Blythe, lead throat shredder of heavy metal megastars Lamb of God — who are not a Christian rock band — and she knew I was hanging out with him. She was also simultaneously running away from someone she called “Leatherface.” I was unable to determine whether or not this was actually the guy who played Leatherface in the movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In any case, Melinda seemed to think he was the real Leatherface and told me, “He runs with a chainsaw, and he thinks I’m going to fuck him?”

I assumed the question was rhetorical.

Randy came offstage and apologized for being so stinky. Melinda made sure he knew that I had saved her from Leatherface. He didn’t seem much concerned and went back to the band’s bus to change clothes. Melinda didn’t seem to notice and sorta wandered off. Me and my friends Bret and Ronny just stood there taking it all in.

I never expected teaching Zen to get me backstage at Ozzfest. Randy had invited me because he was a fan of my books. We’d been emailing each other for a few months. He had gotten interested in Buddhism some time ago and picked up my first book shortly after it came out. He first wrote me just before Lamb of God was about to tour Japan, thinking I still lived there and we could meet. But by the time I got his email I was already living in Los Angeles. So after a couple more email exchanges we finally figured out the most convenient place we could see each other was when Ozzfest hit Southern California. Ozzfest, if you don’t know, is a big-ass heavy metal festival featuring tons of bands headed up by Ozzy Osbourne, ex– lead singer of Black Sabbath. The festival was plowing its way across America with Lamb of God opening for Ozzy himself.

Ozzy’s Blizzard of Ozz and Diary of a Madman albums were a big deal for me when I was in high school. I even briefly sported a hairdo based on that of Ozzy’s firebrand guitarist, the late, great Randy Rhoads. It was a major shock when Rhoads died on March 19, 1982, just fourteen days after my eighteenth birthday. I’d spent countless hours down in my basement figuring out how to play the “classical” bit of the solo to “Flying High Again” and was looking forward to seeing what he’d do next.

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