Working Well: Twelve Simple Strategies to Manage Stress and Increase Productivity by Stephanie Berryman

Author:Stephanie Berryman [Berryman, Stephanie]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub, pdf
Publisher: Manage to Engage
Published: 2020-05-25T16:00:00+00:00

Question Your Beliefs

We all have beliefs that drive our behaviors. Most of the time, we aren’t aware of those beliefs, but when we stop and examine them, we will sometimes find that they don’t serve us. Some of us might believe that we’ll never be good enough to get promoted or that people don’t like us or that we’re failing miserably in some aspect of our lives.

Those self-limiting beliefs are holding us back. We don’t put ourselves out there, or take risks, or be authentic, and then we don’t get anywhere. As Canadian hockey legend Wayne Gretzky says, “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” Once we’ve identified our self-limiting beliefs, we can choose different beliefs that serve us.

I used to believe that I should only work in not-for-profits because that was where I could do the most meaningful work. And I believed I had to do meaningful work because I wasn’t good enough. Doing meaningful work would validate my existence. Hustle, hustle, hustle. Super healthy belief.

I spent nearly two decades doing very meaningful work in not-for-profits. I worked with some incredibly wise and inspiring people who came to their work from a healthy desire to do good in the world. I had some amazing experiences, contributed a great deal, learned a lot, and eventually gave it up. I had to: I was burned out, broke, and done with the belief that I wasn’t good enough. I stopped hustling for my worthiness.

I uncovered my belief about why I worked in not-for-profits when I was at a ten-day personal development retreat. That was the same retreat where I replaced my self-limiting beliefs with healthy and empowering beliefs. It was only when I questioned some of my beliefs that I was able to make changes. Without the insights I experienced at the retreat, I might never have made the changes that have allowed me to grow.

Many of the beliefs we have about ourselves aren’t even ours. We have adopted them from our parents or our siblings or our teachers. Those people didn’t know the whole of us then, and they sure don’t know who we are now. I remember my lovely grade eight teacher, Mr. Wills, taking me aside and explaining that if I didn’t get over my shyness, I’d never be able to succeed. I was the kind of kid who turned bright red when called on in class and never ever spoke up willingly.

I’m not shy anymore. I’m one of those rare people that loves speaking to large groups—either teaching or giving conference presentations. I’m not the same person I was when I was in grade eight. Neither are you. Thank goodness. Let’s let go of the beliefs we might have taken on way back then and question them. Then we can make some conscious choices about what we want to believe about ourselves.

Remember, your belief doesn’t have to be true. Or right. All that matters is that you believe it.

I spent ten years telling myself over and over again, “I’m absolutely good enough.

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