Will's Choice by Gail Griffith

Will's Choice by Gail Griffith

Author:Gail Griffith
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2005-06-11T16:00:00+00:00


By the end of February 2001, one month after his first hospitalization at PIW, Will had dropped out of high school and was working full-time at my office doing data entry; he was a favorite of the twenty-something women who supervised him and it pleased him to be earning his own money. He dreamed of buying a Ford Mustang convertible and he downloaded print versions of various models, which carpeted his bedroom. We wanted him to gain a realistic sense of what it would cost to make his way in the world, so we stipulated that he pay a small amount of rent and contribute to the food budget.

He followed through on his pledge to sign up to take the GED test and made inquiries about apprenticeships with trade unions. He always made it to his therapist’s appointments with Drs. Salerian and Ainsworth, and I thought I detected a subtle uptick in his mood. And, for better or for worse, he and Megan were still seeing each other.

Megan spent two weeks at Dominion Hospital, in northern Virginia, in an in-patient program for adolescents. Not long after her release, she returned to school and talked about having “gotten a handle” on her depression. She had a new psychiatrist and was taking medicine, but that was as much as I knew.

Will was circumspect about their relationship. I had spoken to Megan’s mother and stepfather more than a few times. Clearly, they regarded Will as a threat and a hindrance to Megan’s recovery. Who could blame them? I would feel the same if I thought my child was being infected by a kid with toxic issues.

One afternoon I got a call at my office from Dr. Ainsworth: “Gail, I don’t want to alarm you—and I have an agreement with Will that I will not disclose anything he tells me in our sessions, unless I think it potentially harmful…”

“Oh, man, what next?” I thought to myself.

“What is it, Vaune?” I could feel the roots of my hair start to tingle.

“Has Will talked to you about wanting a baby?”

“Oh, Jesus. No. Definitely no. What on earth…?”

“I think it’s a fantasy, you know, a way of soothing himself, or to give himself a purpose, a project, a chance to get it right.”

“Oh, God. Does he talk about wanting to have a baby with anyone in particular?” I hoped this was just conjecture. I knew Will was sexually active; by seventeen, he had had more than one physical relationship before Megan. Mercifully, he and I were able to talk candidly about sex and the responsibilities that go with physical intimacy. But conceiving a child was not on the agenda—fantasy or otherwise—as far as I was concerned.

“Vaune, I’d like to talk to him about this, if you don’t mind. I’m afraid he’s over the edge.”

“I think that’s a good idea. I will tell him I told you myself when I next see him and I’ll tell him why I broke the confidence.”

I confronted Will that evening.

“No, Mom.” He reddened with embarrassment.



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