Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter? by Dr. Sandi Mann

Author:Dr. Sandi Mann
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Watkins Media

Not only does the self-doubting male face a societal backlash if he admits his feelings, but he can face a self-imposed backlash, too. The female imposter only has to deal with the feelings of being a phony; the male imposter has to cope with the phoniness plus also take a hit on his self-identity as a man as a direct result of feeling fake. Is it any wonder, then, that men are less likely to own up to feeling like frauds, and more likely to go into denial or turn to avoidance strategies?

The male stereotype

What is the male stereotype that feeds into Imposter Syndrome? Actually, researchers think there are a few, including Successful Businessman, Athlete and Family Man. Let’s take a look:

The successful businessman

This stereotype deems that the male must be successful at work. Success is generally measured financially, but status is seen as important, too. Status has always been more important to men than to women; an article called The Art of Manliness asserts that ‘biologists have long observed that males across species are much more sensitive to “status defeats” and have a stronger drive to attain status than females’.7 In 2016, researchers studying male social status in an Amazonian society point out that ‘attempts to gain or maintain status are … particularly evident among men’.8

The Art of Manliness article goes on to say that ‘a man’s drive for status is woven into nearly every facet of masculinity’. This status-seeking was an important part of our evolutionary past when men had to prove themselves to their tribes, often via strenuous and difficult ordeals, to earn the status of a ‘real man’.

So, to be a ‘real man’ it is important to have a good earning capacity, to have the status symbols to match (titles, cars, etc) and even to dress the part – the sharp business suit, etc. Some men feel that these trappings of success mask the reality – that they are fake and phony and don’t deserve success. Like the women imposters, they feel that they are not really good at what they do and that they have only achieved their success through luck or fluke. They live in fear of being found out and losing the status, money and suit. And, because such trappings are so bound up with their male identity, they fear this loss very acutely – perhaps more so than women whose female identity is perhaps less bound up with her ability to attract a high salary and smart car.

The athlete

Men are expected to be big, strong and capable if they are to feel like ‘real men’. Male role models portrayed in the media are typically strong athletes and superheroes – what kind of person is usually on the cover of a sports magazine or is the star of advertisements aimed at men; usually a wellbuilt muscular male icon such as a football player or extremely toned actor. And, as pointed out in a blog on male stereotypes from the University of Pittsburgh, ‘males of all ages and races are influenced by advertisements that portray these icons.

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