Why Bother? by Jennifer Louden

Author:Jennifer Louden
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781989603130
Publisher: Jennifer Louden
Published: 2020-02-02T02:40:41+00:00

The next morning, we were exaggeratedly kind with each other, all “thank you” and “no, after you.” Neither one of us brought up the proposal, but it was there, between us, waiting. I kept sneaking glances at my ring. It was so new and perfect. We left the retreat and headed to the market town of Chichicastenango for a night.

In Chichi, Bob kept asking me what I wanted to do. I kept shrugging and then we’d wander the market, me seeking something down the next aisle of handcrafts and food stalls I couldn’t name. I wanted something, but what was it? The market was impossible to take in: spicy copal scent, the susurration of Mayan, fried meat, piles of different chilies as high as my chest. And, most of all, the color. The color of the women’s clothing, each village represented by a different pattern, the color of the masks, the belts, the blankets, the carvings, the bedspreads, the scarves, the flowers, the sky.

We stood in front of the cathedral to watch a small band of Mayan men perform a ritual at the top of the steep worn marble steps. They had built the church over a Mayan temple and each step, I’d read, represented one month on the Mayan calendar. The men took turns dancing while twirling a large metal wheel studded with lit candles while the other men threw lit firecrackers at their feet and chanted. I kept waiting for someone to get his fingers blown off or for some wild magic to happen, an appearance of spirits or for me to wake up and know what I wanted, to emerge from my shambling blankness. I wanted to hold Bob’s hand because I was feeling less and less substantial, but I didn’t. We hadn’t touched since he proposed.

I suddenly had to sleep. Bob turned with me like he was my shadow.

Outside our colonial hotel, a Cofradia came toward us on the narrow cobblestoned street. The men wore a uniform of black short pants and ponchos, with black straw hats that sat high on their heads atop intricately embroidered scarves. They were chanting, shaking rattles and beating drums. Several of the men carried staffs topped with metal suns and crosses. The heat made the music seem heavy, louder. I wanted to follow them. Then two men carrying an open-fronted box across their shoulders drew toward us. I shrank back, certain the box contained a shriveled corpse, but then I saw it was a life-sized doll, one of the Catholic saints, I didn’t know which one. Bob pulled me back into a doorway, out of the way. One man spun away from the procession and loomed in front of us, locked eyes with me. I stared back. His eyes were unfocused, almost cloudy. I leaned toward him, wanting to know what he knew. Bob pressed coins into the man’s hand and he marched away with the group, their drums fading.

I washed my hands and face, slipped off my clothes, and lay down on one of the double beds.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.