Where's the Red Button?: A true story of overcoming childhood abuse by Lavinia Wilson & Alison Lloyd

Author:Lavinia Wilson & Alison Lloyd [Wilson, Lavinia & Lloyd, Alison]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ScrollHouse
Published: 2021-12-11T00:00:00+00:00

Since the Garden of Eden, things haven’t been fair. Bad things happen to good people. But if we wait for justice, we are putting our lives under the control of those who hurt us.

Henry Cloud

1. In the file she refers to the National Health and Medical Research Council.

Chapter 11

Sutho Kids

I was back in Allambie, for the third time. The final time, as it turned out. I was put in the adolescent unit, because I’d finished primary school. The unit was a bit smaller, with twenty or so kids living there instead of fifty.

When I was re-admitted a caseworker summed up my family history, again. She was more worried about my development than previous professionals had been. Her impression was that I was ‘a highly disturbed child who lacks the ability to express emotion and to assert herself.’ I had ‘suffered deeply in the area of personality development’ and seemed ‘unable to express anything definite about herself.’

I was at Allambie for a term, and then someone decided that I would be moved on, probably again with the idea of a gradual return to my family. I was sent back to the northern edge of Melbourne. Not to my family, but to Sutherland Homes, a place for wards of the state.

Before I left Allambie, I was taken down to the laundry and got decked out in new clothes. I’d never had new clothes before, except for one pair of jeans. I was excited to get a set of new gear: dark blue corduroys with the big side pockets that were in that year, and a light blue windcheater to match. Apart from that, I left with the same masking-tape-and-nappy bag holding my few old clothes, with no other possessions, and no attachment to anything or anyone.

A social worker drove me away from Allambie, through the suburbs and out to a semi-rural property. Sutherland Homes was in the same area as my family lived, on the corner of two main roads, on top of a hill overlooking farmland. It felt a bit like coming home, because the route was the same as driving out to my parents. I got nervous, returning to the area, nearer to Dad and Mel. I wasn’t too sure what I was in for. I hadn’t made the decision to come here. But I definitely didn’t like the alternative of going back to the Hayville Children’s Home with Gordon and Doreen.

The car turned off the main road and into a group of fibro buildings scattered around a horseshoe drive. There were eight identical cottages – they looked functional, rather than homely. The social worker drove past an empty play area and stopped at a larger building in the middle. This turned out to be ‘admin’, where the social workers had their offices.

A young woman came out of the office to meet us. She wasn’t much taller than me, nor much older, which gave me the feeling that she was almost on the same level.

‘Lavinia? I’m Debbie, your caseworker.’

She held out a hand to shake.

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