Where Words Can't Reach by Madeleine De Little

Author:Madeleine De Little
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Madeleine De Little

If the child has experienced chronic trauma, then I might say more about early trauma:

If we were not looked after when we were babies, then parts of our brain sort of shut down, and then it is very difficult for us to think clearly and make the best decisions for ourselves. Our brains don’t always function properly, and so we have difficulties with friends, learning at school, and controlling our emotions. When we have something really bad happen to us, our brains can put it to one side so that we don’t remember it. That helps us deal with horrible stuff. If we were looked after when we were babies and then something horrible happens to us when we are older, then it is easier for us to get over it.

Even when we imagine we’re in danger, our brains still try to protect us. So that is why we fight sometimes, get angry at others and ourselves, or just avoid people, and other things we might do to protect ourselves from not-so-good feelings, or our bodies getting hurt. Everything we do tries to keep us feeling safe and happy. But it sometimes doesn’t work too well, and we get into trouble with mom/dad/teacher. How are you trying to keep yourself safe?

Whether it’s a perceived or real danger, there are two ways to help our brains work better. The first way is to be aware of all that is happening inside our bodies, like what we sense from the outside and what our bodies feel like inside. With this information, we can decide whether we are in real danger or whether it is an imagined danger, so that we can regulate or control our feelings.

The second way is to learn to use the thinking part at the front of our brains, called the pre-frontal cortex [I place the owl in the sand tray], to decide if the danger is real—and, then, if it isn’t and we are safe, we can think of other ways to deal with our situations.

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