When a Loved One Falls Ill by Brian Monaghan & Brian Monaghan

Author:Brian Monaghan & Brian Monaghan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Published: 2011-07-02T04:00:00+00:00

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Brian

Gerri’s taking care of so many of the stressful details of managing my illness helped me to turn my attention to what mattered to me. Despite my general optimism that I would make it through the illness, I wanted my kids, and eventually their kids, to have an understanding of some of the things I had done, things I had experienced, what I had learned, and more important, the mistakes I had made.

Kathi and Patrick had lived in a different world from mine, and I wanted to impart to them my experience to use if and when they chose. There was so very much I had seen, lived, and learned. Even more significantly, I wanted to express the feelings that we had shared over the years.

In the beginning, all I had was a title, Dad’s Gift. Since I really didn’t know how to begin this project, I started by compiling lists. First came a list of poetry that had been important to me, followed by a list of the books that meant so much to me during my life. During my years at sea with the navy, and for several years thereafter, I had kept a journal that included things I had written myself or quotes from books I had read. I included parts of this journal in the book I was creating for the kids. As I began to write, a flood of memories came washing through me: the laughter long forgotten; the mistakes I’d made as both a child and an adult, many of which still haunted me; my childhood dreams; the complicated decisions I’d made; and so many books I felt must be read. In short, my life’s great passions. The writing of Dad’s Gift became cathartic.

When Kathi and Patrick were kids, I tried every night to tell them a new fairy tale of my own invention. It had been a very special part of their young lives and something I really enjoyed. Now, it was my hope they would be able to pass this storytelling along to their children. With that in mind, I came up with a guide that described how to create one’s own fairy tales. I called this “Brian’s Do-It-Yourself Fairy Tale Kit” (see page 208 for details).

The heritage of the Irish includes the telling of tales and the singing of songs, and I’ve done my share of both. Sure now, how could I not include my favorite Irish jokes? I also included lists of my favorite movies, songs, and quotations. I then sat down with Kathi and Patrick separately, and asked each of them to share some of their most vivid memories of childhood. I also added some of my memories about my mother and dad, both of whom had died in the 1980s, and included a story called “Moments That Make the Man,” which charted significant memories of my early years.

Because the legal profession had been such a significant part of my life, I wrote a section called “A Life in the Courtroom.

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