What You Could Have Won by Rachel Genn

Author:Rachel Genn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary fiction;literary fiction;comedy;love story;realism;gender;London;Paris;Greece;New York;Europe;Feminist;Female Resilience;psychiatrist;self-discovery;Fame;genius;drugs;performance;relationship;masculinity;Scandal;Celebrity;Rehabilitation;Amy Winehouse;Claire-Louise Bennett;Jennifer Egan;Anne Enright;Kevin Barry;Anne Boyer;Virginie Despentes;Juliet Jacques;Helen Mort;Joanna Walsh;Sara Baume;Andrew McMillan;M John Harrison;Nicholas Royle
Publisher: And Other Stories Publishing
Published: 2020-08-25T16:00:52+00:00

‌Donut

The woman in the flour sack finally appears through the beaded curtain, her shoulders only as wide as twelve or thirteen of those fronds. She cocks her head and stares at your scarf instead of your face and this makes you put your hand to it. You chose Corail for today, right? Does she know about Black Rock?

Flour Sack’s dark scalp makes the white hair pale pink, and to escape that, you peer into the hot lunch dishes warming in the bains-marie. She cannot stop you from being friendly and you smile at the bubbling food.

‘You know when choosing actually hurts?’ you say to her, via the lunches. Gigi runs in, gives an enthusiastic ‘Yassas’, bounces on the spot behind the counter, which you can see Flour Sack does not enjoy. You could never love a man with buck teeth.

‘I’m just looking,’ you say to him.

‘Just looking,’ you say to her.

He stops pogoing, then waits in silence as if she will give him instruction, but they shout at him from the beach and he sets off fast back over the sand. Flour Sack mutters something to the sweating hot lunches, rearranges the spoons that you have touched. There’s a pause that pulls a loud gah! out of you and you waggle your hands over each of the options.

‘What’s the sauce on this one?’ you say to her, looking up but she has disappeared. After a long time, you shout ‘hello there!’ like some lame pirate then you hear bare feet on the concrete terrace. From separate entrances, they both flop in at once and are annoyed to see each other.

‘The sauce on this one?’ You point then apologize. They whisper. He shrugs.

‘Goats’ flesh,’ she says with contempt.

You need to let her know that it is her attitude that is going to force you to make the wrong choice.

‘Any flesh in this one?’ You sound sunny and you choose by pointing though you haven’t yet made the decision.

Handyman carries the plate on a tray to the cash register and you fully expect him to realize that this is not what you really want, that if he cared anything at all about you he would choose for you. Instead, handing you your lunch, he takes the money, puts it in the register, grins at you and sprints back to the game. Really and truly, you have no choice. Jesus Christ. You feel like Hypno Ray, whose myth says that while on tour in Japan in the 80s he had roadies warm his bottled water so it didn’t hurt his teeth.

Flour Sack is about to leave and you shout, ‘I don’t want this!’

It sounds so bad that you begin to explain, knowing your explanations will make her hate you even more.

‘I wanted it in theory, if you know what I mean.’

‘GIGI!’ She shouts it loud and you grit your teeth because of how furious and foreign she sounds. You look out of the arch nervously because if Henry thinks you are bugging the staff he will kill you.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.