Weird Stuff by Richard Tulloch

Author:Richard Tulloch
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Published: 2009-09-24T00:00:00+00:00

IT was hard to say why the fight started. Usually teams are in a great mood after a win like we'd had on Friday. Kids who are deadly enemies put their arms around each other and tell each other how great they are, and how lucky they feel to have each other as friends and teammates. Locker-room fights normally break out only when you've lost. So it was strange that this team meeting turned so nasty.

It started in a normal enough way, with Mr. Quale giving his Post-Game Analysis. "Five things won that game for us on Friday, boys. Guts, guts, guts, guts, and finally, more guts!"

Mr. Quale's speeches before, during, and after our games were famous throughout the school for their colorful language. He wasn't bad on the tricky details of soccer tactics, but Mr. Quale was a total genius when it came to talking like a real coach.

"We've never been the most talented team in the division, but a champion team will beat a team of champions. In those last few minutes when everyone was tired, we were . . . " (here he referred to his notebook) " . . . we were tougher than crocodile-skin underpants."

Mr. Quale could think up the best expressions, which he scribbled in his notebook to read to us later. He had invented special names for everybody on the team. I'd been Mr. Invisible up until now, 'cause nobody noticed me on the field. Now I was the Ice Man, and I liked that better. Vince was Speedy because he was small but quick. Mario "Superglue" Fenton was great at sticking to opposition strikers. Then there were Sandbag, Rocco, Knobbly Knees, and Tangles. Mr. Quale called big Arthur Neerlander the Incredible Bulk. Kelvin Moray was always showing off on the soccer field, so he called him Show Pony.

First in Post-Game Analysis came praise for the things we'd done right. "Great effort at the back by Rocco and Bulk to hold off their attack all game. Sure we had some luck, but we earned it. And Brian Hobble was the Ice Man slotting home '" >the penalty." Mr. Quale checked the notebook again. "This kid is cooler than a nudist at the North Pole!" He ruffled my hair.

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