We Did That? by Sophie Stirling

Author:Sophie Stirling [Stirling, Sophie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781642502022
Publisher: Mango Media
Published: 2020-04-19T09:02:53+00:00

Crapulence Begone!

Crapulence: the state of being intoxicated; a state of sickness

caused by excessive drinking.

If any word best describes the feeling of a hangover, it’s definitely crapulence. There are very few experiences worse than a hangover. You just feel like crap. But, while uncomfortable, they’re also unavoidable (what are you going to do, just never drink)? Pha! Here are some cures we’ve cooked up in the past to deal with these next-day monsters.

Pokhmel’e

In 1635, German scholar Adam Olearius took a journey through Russia, and recorded an account of what he saw, and learned on his travels there. One of his chief observations was that the Russians loved to drink. “None of them anywhere, anytime, or under any circumstance lets pass any opportunity to have a draught or a drinking bout,” he noted. How did they deal with the predictable and uncomfortable after-effects? Such professional drinkers had a tried and true recipe called pokhmel’e. It translates to “hangover” or “after being drunk.”

To make this traditional recipe, here’s what you do:

»Cut cold, baked lamb into small, thin strips

»Mix with peppers and cucumber (i.e. pickles), cut similarly

»Pour this over a mixture of equal parts vinegar and cucumber juice

Enjoy by eating with a spoon! Afterwards, Olearuis notes, “a drink tastes good again,” You’ll be ready to start all over.

Though probably very sour, there was steady logic behind this seemingly strange combination of foods. The lamb provides energy-giving protein. Pepper releases hydrochloric acid in the stomach, easing queasiness. The brine (rassol) of the pickles was crucial, due to the salt content, the electrolytes of which combat dehydration from drinking too much alcohol. Also, the malolactic fermentation of traditional Russian pickle-making would create what we now know as probiotics, which stimulate healthy bacteria in the gut.

The wisdom behind this medieval recipe has carried over today in the popularity of pickle juice. If you’re into American football, you’ll probably know that in 2000, players from the Philadelphia Eagles football team drank pickle juice before their game against the Dallas Cowboys. As a result, none of the Eagles players suffered from the muscle cramps that plagued the Cowboys. The Eagles won the game. Also, if you’re at a bar, you can ask for something called The Pickleback, which is a shot of whiskey, followed by a shot of pickle juice. You can thank the Russians later!

“The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the next of intoxication, and the third of disgust.”

—Anacharsis, sixth century BCE

Mesopotamian Stewage

Another interesting recipe from the past comes from ancient Mesopotamia. In 5000 BCE, a physician recommended whipping up the following stew:

“If a man has taken strong wine and his head is affected…take licorice, beans, oleander, [with] oil and wine…in the morning before sunrise, and before anyone has kissed him, let him take it, and he will recover.”

Before anyone has kissed him. That fast huh?

Licorice and wine are naturally sweet, beans are usually savory, but aside from the queasy clash of flavors, this cure might not be as repulsive as many others—except for the fact that oleander is a toxic plant.

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