Values in Therapy by Jenna LeJeune

Author:Jenna LeJeune
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Values;acceptance and commitment therapy;committed action;cognitive defusion;self as context;meaning;purpose;psychotherapy;counseling;Mastering ACT Series;Context Press;contextual behavioral therapy;Steve Hayes;hexaflex;Man's Search for Meaning;Victor Frankl;logotherapy;ABA;applied behavioral analysis;ABAI;Values;meaning;ACT;values clarification;psychology;therapy;RFT;relational frame theory
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2019-10-29T16:58:15+00:00

This exercise can bring up a lot of feelings, including painful ones. Clients may feel intense regret or shame. But it is often contacting pain in the present moment that allows the person to reconnect with what matters most to them and shift their life accordingly. Here’s an example of how you might want to wrap up the exercise to utilize the pain that may have emerged and to help the person take a step toward their values.

Therapist: One important step you have taken by doing this exercise is exploring the discrepancy between the life you want to live and life as it is today. That’s not an easy thing to do. But that gap also creates room for changes to occur. It creates a space where both pain and values can be a part of your life. These painful thoughts and feelings can give you a sense of direction and help you take steps toward what you would choose to value going forward. You might feel confused right now and wonder what this means. You might be having thoughts and feelings like you can’t do it or you don’t know how to change. That’s okay and normal at this point. This isn’t something you can understand with your mind, but rather something you have to experience in the present moment, through living your life and making choices. We’ll continue to explore this in the sessions ahead. Just by being willing to do this exercise, you took a step toward your values and toward creating the life that you would most want to live.

Follow-up homework. This isn’t a one-and-done kind of exercise. I will frequently return to this exercise throughout therapy. It is also important to have your clients follow up on whatever has emerged from the exercise. Here are some ideas for next steps clients can take on their own after doing the exercise with you:

List several words people used in their eulogy to describe you and the life you have lived. What thoughts and feelings come up for you as you look at this list of words? Next to this list, write down some of the words that you think would describe what a well-lived life would be for you.

Spend some time writing about what kind of a relationship you would want with each of the people who spoke at your funeral. Who would you want to be to them, and what kind of person would you want them to know you to be? What might you need to start doing right now, in the present, to begin creating the relationship you would want with them? Write down any ideas that come up, whether they seem realistic or not.

Spend some time reflecting on what you would need to do differently, start doing, or stop doing in order to make the changes you’d like to make based on what came up in this eulogy. What do you think has been getting in the way of making that change? What

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