UnSelfie by Michele Borba

Author:Michele Borba
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Touchstone

AGE-BY-AGE STRATEGIES

During one holiday, Jessica and Mark noticed that their three sons had fallen into the “Gimme” trap. “We wanted them to learn that giving is just as fun as receiving,” they said. So the parents initiated a new tradition: Secret Kindness Buddies. Each person—including Mom and Dad—pulled a name from a basket and then was to perform a secret act of kindness toward the buddy each day during Hanukkah. Deeds may not be purchased but must come “straight from the heart.”

Any hesitations faded by their first secret act. The kids baked cookies, picked a flower bouquet, restrung a sibling’s broken necklace, cleaned a brother’s room, and even delivered breakfast in bed to Mom. “They couldn’t wait to try to surprise their sibling and watch his reaction,” Jessica said. “The best thing was that my boys relearned the joy of giving.”

Jessica and Mark aren’t alone: many parents want their kids to focus more on kindness, caring, and giving. Here are more ways to start a Kindness Revolution in your home, school, or neighborhood. Make sure to keep the activities fun, varied, and ongoing, and take time to chat about how both recipients and givers were affected. Doing so will build your kids’ kindness muscles, help them think more about others and less about themselves, and help them acquire the Empathy Advantage.

Symbols designate the recommended age and suitability for activity: L = Little Ones: Toddlers and Preschoolers; S = School-age; T = Tweens and Older; A = All Ages

• Start a family Kindness Box. An old shoebox with a slit cut in the top will do for this simple activity. Just encourage your family to look for others doing kind deeds. Write or draw the deeds and slip them in the box. Then read those notes during your family meal, a Sunday breakfast, or family gathering. It will help everyone start looking for the “good” in one another. L, S

• Create a Kindness Jar. Usha Balamore, the lower division director at Pennsylvania’s Shipley School, has a Kindness Jar (a large plastic see-through container) to help four- and five-year-old students practice kindness. A penny is added to the jar for each kind act, but the honoree is the kindness recipient, not the giver. The receiver reports the giver’s name and deed: “Larry was kind because he folded up my blanket.” Or “Kelly was kind because she hugged me when I fell.” The adult then adds a penny to the jar. Focusing on the recipient halts givers from bragging or expecting rewards. When filled, the kids decide where to donate the money. Last year, students chose an orphanage in Uganda to be the recipient. “We’re making the world a better place,” a kindergartener said proudly.19 Start a kindness jar at home! L, S

• Catch your kids being kind with pebbles. Keep a stack of small, smooth stones or other small objects by a basket or container. Family members are to “catch” Mom, Dad, or siblings being kind, compliment the recipient, write their kind person’s initial on the pebble with a black marking pen, and add it to the Kindness Basket.

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