Triads & Turbulence - Volume 4: Once Upon a Time in Northeastern China by Ergou Kong

Author:Ergou, Kong [Ergou, Kong]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-05-21T16:00:00+00:00

chapter 172

Belated Negotiation

Alpha also said no more. His face was expressionless as he stared straight ahead. Hongbing calmly watched the bustle of people going home from work outside the car.

“Your bunch has become too high-handed over these years. Haven’t you gotten enough?” Alpha’s voice was very calm. He didn’t sound like he was blaming Hongbing. But Hongbing still said nothing.

“Seem like you guys just can’t stand to lose, not even a little bit,” Alpha went on. “Do you think that losing means such a loss of face that Zhao Hongbing can’t be a Big Brother anymore?” He wasn’t acting aggressively; he actually sounded earnest.

Hongbing still didn’t respond. He had a very good habit of listening respectfully and calmly, no matter how agitated the other person might be, and no matter whether it was a friend or an opponent. He tolerated the grumbling of friends and the interrogation of enemies.

Respectful listening sounds easy. It just requires you to hold back from saying anything. But in real life, it’s very hard for most people to do. For example, if there’s a pair of lovers, and one of them is unhappy and vents about it, the other is unlikely to patiently listen. They will fire back, resulting in a full-fledged argument. These arguments never go in a positive direction, and only widen the rift. Or, when two people are on bad terms and one makes a brief comment, the other usually can’t stand it, so they start shouting at each other. This often escalates into an actual fistfight, and from then on they’ll avoid each other and the situation will continue to deteriorate.

That’s why respectful listening sounds easy enough, but actually doing it requires a high level of mastery and patience. Hongbing had this ability. As long as he felt that the other party could be reasoned with and was sincere, he would patiently and respectfully listen until they had said their piece. Hongbing could not only control his anger, but could also analyze what was actually making the other person unhappy and what he actually wanted. He would then respond according to his own circumstances.

In short, respectful listening serves three purposes. It allows the other party to vent their feelings. It also helps you find out why the other party is unhappy and what they want, so you can adopt an appropriate strategy. Finally, it makes the other party sense your calmness, which is a kind of power.

Hongbing always liked to gain the advantage through counterattack, so when he felt that Alpha had said just about all he wanted to say, he took his turn.

“Do you think I’ve gained something at your expense?”

“No,” Alpha said. “Neither of us has gained anything, but for sure I’ve lost more.”

“Those nephews of yours almost killed one of my employees – the son of my neighbor. What was I supposed to tell his father? I asked you to bring them over to see me, but you accused me of telling guys to go over and beat them up .

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