Toxic Glory: A Dark College Bully Romance (Ruthless Society Book 3) by Raven Rage

Author:Raven Rage [Rage, Raven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-01-22T18:30:00+00:00

TWENTY-TWO

ALIZE

Deep breaths, Alize.

The shower’s ice cold, but it does little for the rage kindling beneath my skin. I’m hot all over—from the tips of my fingers to the soles of my feet—and blindingly angry.

There’s no way feeling like this is good for the baby.

Wrapping my hands around my middle, I walk back until my skin hits the cold marble of the shower stall. It could be my mind, or the pounds of cheesecake I had just a few hours earlier, but my stomach already feels bigger than yesterday.

“I still haven’t told him about you,” I mutter, hugging my stomach tighter. “I keep thinking that I will, that I just need to muster the courage.” Clenching my teeth, I think of the last interaction I had with Alexander. “This whole thing with us right now must be karma for not telling him as soon as I was sure.”

I sink to the floor, hugging my legs as close to my body as they’ll go. “If I can’t even find the courage to tell him about you, how the fuck am I going to handle being your mom?”

My hand snaps to my mouth. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t swear around you either. That’s a bad habit to pick up so early.” A chuckle escapes me and with it comes another feeling. It’s golden, starting in my chest and spreading outward. It’s warm, like the sun’s gentle kiss on a midsummer day—it feels a little like hope.

For the first time since I found out about the baby, I imagine myself as a mother–a real one. I’ll be responsible for keeping another human alive—they’ll look up to me, and it will be my job to protect them from everything. Not just actual threats like electrical sockets and busy roadways, but from colds and broken bones and sadness.

“It’s a big job,” I say. “Lots of responsibilities.” As I sit there, talking to them, I wonder if they know I’m their mom. When I googled it, the results said that my baby would be around the size of a plum by now. They would be fully formed and moving around, though I wouldn’t be able to feel it.

“I hope you like my voice,” I say, with a giggle. “You’re going to hear a lot of it over the next few months. Well, for the rest of your life, really.” My eyes feel damp, and it’s not from the spray of the showerhead. “It would suck if you hated your mom’s voice.”

I don’t even know what my mom’s voice was like. I know so little about her—but the parts of me that are nothing like my father, I must have gotten from her. When I try to imagine her, I think of a kind, gentle woman—after all, only a woman like that could see the good in someone like my father. It was fate’s cruel way of rewarding her that she died giving birth to me.

A bubble of panic pops in my chest.

I want to give my baby the best—and the best thing I could ever give them is a stable home, something I never had.

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