Through the Glass Ceiling to the Stars by Eileen M. Collins

Author:Eileen M. Collins
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781510771215
Publisher: Arcade
Published: 2021-09-29T16:00:00+00:00

Delayed Mission, Delayed Family

The timing was lousy, though. A delay of nearly a year caused us to jump behind five other space shuttle missions on the launch manifest.

It also meant another year before I’d be able to start a family. Mike Foale came into my office one day and announced that his wife was pregnant. I told him how happy I was for them, although it demonstrated the difference between raising a family as a male astronaut or as a female. Despite our mission’s delay, Mike and Rhonda could still have their baby. I would have to put off any thoughts of having children for now.

During pregnancy, women astronauts cannot fly in space, and certain training activities are off-limits. Most astronauts are in their early to midthirties when they join the program and are often in their late thirties by the time they begin flying. That’s approaching the age where we worry about possible complications or health issues for our babies and ourselves.

This was a common topic of discussion for some of us. There is nothing you can do if your mission keeps delaying, and delays were common. Between missions, which could normally be several years, a woman could take herself out of the rotation temporarily. Or do you keep putting a pregnancy on hold, in hopes of a mission assignment sooner rather than later? There are no easy answers.

Pat and I wanted to start a family. We also knew how important my flying this mission was for me, NASA, and the women around the world who were following my career.

Despite my deep disappointment, I gradually decided to try to make a good thing out of the bad news. As is my usual practice, I worked through my frustration by mentally turning the tables: I tried to see this unhappy development as a gift of extra time to make myself the smartest, most knowledgeable pilot in the Astronaut Office. I would memorize the emergency procedures. I would sign up for more simulator time. I would fly more T-38 missions. I would study, study, study. If a malfunction happened, I would be the hero who would save the shuttle! On my long exercise runs, I imagined myself and my crew in all kinds of dire situations: fire in orbit, air leaks, cooling system leaks, engine failures. You name it, I would be ready for it. I would apply my chair flying skills to all kinds of dreamt-up situations, and of course my crew and I would come out as the heroes.

Working hard and visualizing success helped me deal with the heartbreak of the long delay. In the end, what had initially seemed to be a career disaster turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. I was perfectly prepared.

Space shuttle pilots spend long hours practicing both in the simulators in Houston as well as in the pilot’s seat of our Shuttle Training Aircraft (STA). The STA is a Gulfstream II specially modified to fly like the space shuttle during its final approach and landing.

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