Think With Intention: Reprogram Your Mindset, Perspectives, and Thoughts. Control Your Fate and Unlock Your Potential. by Peter Hollins

Think With Intention: Reprogram Your Mindset, Perspectives, and Thoughts. Control Your Fate and Unlock Your Potential. by Peter Hollins

Author:Peter Hollins [Hollins, Peter]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Psychology, Applied Psychology, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Self-Esteem, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Google: bIbUDwAAQBAJ
Amazon: B085B7MXFH
Publisher: PublishDrive
Published: 2020-02-27T23:00:00+00:00


The Sweetest Suffering

In other words, there are better and worse ways to fail, and if you’ve found yourself making the same mistake over and over again, it’s worth considering whether you’re really learning the lesson. Pain and discomfort have a clever way of making you stop and forcing you to focus on what’s critical, saying this is important, pay attention! Your brain naturally wants to avoid a repeat of a painful outcome, so it goes into learning mode to understand what it can do differently next time.

However, doing this kind of work can be painful in itself. Performing an autopsy on a failure can be seriously unpleasant: you have to confront harsh truths that would be easier to avoid. Maybe your ego got the better of you, maybe you’re actually not as skilled as you thought, maybe that criticism was valid and maybe you can’t go on ignoring that elephant in the room. So, curiously, this bad feeling is both the door that opens you to learning, but also the impediment that stops you from wanting to learn. This is where the rubber hits the road—learning often asks of us to tolerate prolonged feelings of embarrassment, uncertainty, stress, or feeling like a floundering beginner.

If you’re committed to a life of security and have forfeited your will and agency, you’ll likely push the event out of your mind and forget about it. Only if you intentionally force yourself to look closely at your failures will you unlock the lessons they hold for you. Learning is active, meaning we only do it if we consciously decide to. We have to engage with all the ways we didn’t succeed. We have to look our messes in the face and see them for what they are. Try again, but with adjustments this time. It’s hard to overstate how central this attitude is to success and learning—without it, we become creatures of laziness and denial, shrinking ourselves down to fit lower expectations and situations that never truly challenge us.

We can tie this into our previous discussion on self-acceptance, and the now well-known concepts of fixed vs. growth mindsets. With a fixed mindset, we see ourselves as static, finished entities whose performance is a sign of our value and identity. If we fail, we feel pain… and not much else. But with a growth mindset (i.e., one dominated by intentional and conscious thinking), we see ourselves as fluid and in process, embracing mistakes as something we do, but not something we are. In other words, for people operating with a growth mindset, failure is simply an event, not the be-all-end-all of who they are. Fixed-mindset people are reactive, and their self-esteem depends on external events. Growth-mindset people derive self-worth and contentment independently, and so can weather negativity or failure more easily. Where a fixed mindset says, “I’m a failure,” a growth mindset says, “I failed. Big deal! I’ll try again.”

Mistakes and failures are gifts in disguise. But they have to be recognized as such and metabolized by your own conscious will to find the lesson and learn from it.



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