The Shark Infested Custard by Charles Willeford

Author:Charles Willeford [Willeford, Charles]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781400032518
Published: 2011-03-20T05:00:00+00:00

"That's okay," Don said. "I had it painted myself so I'd be sure to always have a parking place. You saw my Mark IV, didn't you?"

Eddie nodded, and looked incuriously around the office, shaking his head. "This is a crummy office, Don, for a man making your kind of dough."

There was a shrill whine and then a heavy thunking sound behind the plywood partition separating the office from the warehouse. Eddie raised his eyebrows.

"It's the printer," Don explained. "There was an extra storeroom in the warehouse I didn't use, so I rented it out to this guy. He prints bolita tickets, I think, and a few other interesting things. Fake I.D. cards, birth certificates, high school diplomas, and shit like that. But he's away a lot, so he doesn't bother me any-- and I pick up an extra seventy-five bucks a month that way."

"Is that why you moved down here yourself, to save dough on office space?"

"No. It was too inconvenient being downtown. No place to park, and I always had to be coming here anyway for silver. All the flatware's in the safe here, you know, and I keep a black warehouseman. When I used to talk to him on the phone he got the orders wrong, so it was easier this way. Besides, no one ever comes to see me for orders. I go to them, so it was stupid to keep an expensive office on Biscayne Boulevard."

Eddie winked, and jerked his head toward the closed door. "If I'd known you had that around, I'd've been down before. How is she, Don?"

"Keep you voice down, man. I told Hank about Nita, and he told you, didn't he?" Don smiled sheepishly.

"Not the juicy details."

"It isn't that juicy, but Nita's been with me about five years now, and well, you know, I talked to her about some things. My problems, some, and about Clara. So-- d'you remember when we got the vasectomies?"

"You're really something, Don," Eddie laughed. "That's an incident that would hardly slip a man's mind, for Christ's sake!"

"You remember _when_, I mean--it was when I was separated and living in the Towers with you guys. Well, Clara and I had always used the rhythm system, which is a bloody pain in the ass. You don't fuck when you want to, you have to wait until you have to, so to speak. I was living at the Towers when you and I and Hank talked about the vasectomy, so I never told Clara when I decided to get it done with you. Did Hank ever get his?"

"No. He chickened out finally. He read some study where about one guy out of every thousand or so has some side effects or something. He reads all those medical magazines, and he takes that shit seriously. You know how Hank is, Don."

"I got a postcard from Hank last week. From St. Paul."

"What did he say?"

"He said that when he got some time he'd write me a letter. Anyway, I think I knew at the time that I would eventually go back to Clara.

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