The Seductive Lady Vanessa of Manhattanshire by Seth Kaufman

Author:Seth Kaufman [Kaufman, Seth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Funny, Contemporary Romance, Rom Com, Modern Woman, Romance Parody, Crazy Romance Fan, Middle Aged New Yorker, New York Dating, New York Parody, Romance in Manhattan
ISBN: 9781637583623
Amazon: 1637583621
Goodreads: 59365390
Publisher: Post Hill Press
Published: 2022-01-01T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

In which Lady Vanessa and Magdalena lure two mad men on a bacchanal

It was nearing 4 p.m. when Lady Vanessa led her charge east across Fifth Avenue toward Madison.

As they arrived and turned left, Magdalena spied the street sign and said, “So this is, like, where the Mad Men come from.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The TV show? Mad Men? It’s a show about advertising and martinis, yo. It was mega-hot and popular.”

“Those types of firms are farther downtown. This is a more residential neighborhood. There are some very fine shopping emporia up here, as well as art dealers, antique dealers, and fine hotels.”

“Yeah. I can see that. So where are all the sugar daddies?”

“If by ‘sugar daddies’ you mean wealthy males willing to spend money on women, that is a good question. Many of them stay at home and have their chefs prepare meals.”

“Chefs? In their apartments?”

“Yes, dear. I told you. This is New York’s land of plenty.”

“Not Wall Street?”

“That is the daytime land of plenty. They all come up here to sleep. Or travel to their homes in Greenwich, Connecticut.”

“Damn man, imagine having two different cribs!”

“If by ‘cribs,’ you mean homes—really Magdalena, we must start working on your vocabulary choices—two is understating the case, my dear.”

“For, like, everybody?”

“No, certainly not, Magdalena. Not every man you feast your eyes on is going to be scion or powerbroker.”

Maggie had no idea what a scion was, and this provoked a momentary swirl of self-doubt. “Maybe we should just go home,” she said. “We’ve had two amazing adventures. A third one might just give us a heart attack.”

“Absolutely not!” declared Lady Vanessa. “At the very least, we must explore New York’s most important boulevards—the arteries of affluence and the promenades of prosperity—-Madison and its even richer cousin Park Avenue, and we will sit for a cup of overpriced tea!”

“Or Arizona Iced Tea, boss.”

“I’m not sure they will carry that vintage, Magdalena, but we can ask.”

On the corner of Madison and 81st, a bell captain greeted them by doffing his cap.

“I love a man in a uniform,” whispered Magdalena.

“We all do,” nodded Lady Vanessa. “Except for insolent police threatening to arrest you.”

“Don’t worry, Lady Vee. You ain’t black or Dominican. Those cops was gonna let you slide.”

“I must admit, I am rather proud I kept my equanimity during that exchange.”

“Yes, and you didn’t panic or get stressed, either.”

“That’s what keeping equanimity means.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t worry. You will improve under my tutelage. You already have! Look, let’s turn around and go to that hotel. I am exhausted, and the doorman was quite handsome.”

The women reversed their steps and were rewarded by a buoyant greeting. “Welcome, ladies,” said the doorman, every golden tassel in his epaulets glimmering.

“Thank you, sir,” said Lady Vanessa. “We require some refreshment. Some beverages.”

“Our Cafe Yellow is just inside to the right,” he said, offering a slight bow.

The two women walked through the reception area, an airy, mirrored lobby with sofas set at angles that invited conversation.

Cafe Yellow had a predictable color

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