The Pearl Beyond Price: Integration of Personality into Being, an Object Relations Approach by A. H. Almaas

Author:A. H. Almaas [Almaas, A. H.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shambhala
Published: 2000-09-04T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty

Negative Merging

The symbiotic phase does not comprise only gratifying experiences; it includes many painful and frustrating experiences. When the infant’s needs are not met adequately or immediately, he cannot but experience frustration, rage and other painful affects. But the infant’s experience of this negativity is not experienced as his own or his mother’s; it is part of a merged relationship. There are still no clear concepts of self and other, and no clear boundaries between the two. Thus the frustration and suffering can only be experienced as what we call “negative merging,” in contrast to the positive merging of the experiences of gratification.

The first structures of ego develop at this time. They are defensive structures which attempt to protect positive internalizations from the negative affect of the painful ones. The pleasurable and positive merged experiences are internalized as “all good” undifferentiated self-object representations, and the painful and negative merged experiences are internalized as “all bad” undifferentiated self-object representations. These representations are then organized into overall “all good” or “all bad” undifferentiated self-object representations. Object relations theorist Kernberg investigated the development of internalized object relations, building on the work of Jacobson. He writes about this first ego organization:

I mentioned before that the primary, undifferentiated “good” self object representation is built up under the influence of pleasurable, gratifying experiences involving the infant and his mother. Simultaneously with the development of this “good” self-object representation, another primary, undifferentiated self-object representation is formed, integrating experiences of a frustrating, painful nature, the “bad” self-object representation, centering on a primitive, painful affective tone. [Otto F. Kernberg, Object Relations Theory and Clinical Psychoanalysis, p. 61]

Thus during the symbiotic phase and a little later, ego identifications begin to appear in this merged form, in two opposite organizations, which are split off and kept separate from each other. In a sense, the infant feels he has two relationships: the positive merged one and the negative merged one. He does not see that they are parts of the same relationship with one person. This splitting gradually becomes utilized for defense, “protecting” the good relation from the bad one.

The positive merging is dominated by the presence of the Merging Essence; its representation is an attempt to internalize it. On the other hand, the negative merging is dominated by a primitive affect of frustration. The first defensive operations are those of splitting and projection. The negative merging is split off, seen as separate and unrelated to the positive merging, and projected outside; thus it is perceived as part of the environment.

It is important to consider here the genetic source of negative merging. Object relations theory would consider the source to be primarily the frustration and inadequate gratification in the interaction between infant and mother. This is clearly true, but we see another important, but rarely recognized, source: the infant is actually in a real merged relationship with its mother, not only a delusional one. In other words, the consciousness of the infant not only does not differentiate where a certain feeling is coming from, but is also in a complete state of empathy.

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